School Success Tip #7: Help Your Child Find Resources and Empower Your Child*

Start with teaching your child internal resources. Teach him to breathe in and self regulate. Help your child identify his body symptoms of stress so he can do his own early intervention. Next of all identify external resources. Find out who your child feels emotionally safe with at school and encourage development of those relationships. That person may be one of the support staff who work in the cafeteria, maintenance, or housekeeping. Develop strategies that the school and your child can use in times of stress. This could be something as simple as a safe room or safe space within the school. Connection with a safe person is the best. You could prearrange times for telephone calls to help your child connect with you when he is at school. *Adapted from 10 Important Back-to-School Tips for Parents and Teachers - Heather T. Forbes, LCSW If you find yourself needing additional support and encouragement to advocate for your child, contact me for a FREE 30 minute phone consult when you subscribe to my weekly Christian Parent Wisdom http://bit.ly/nmOEXw and mention that you heard about this FREE offer though this blog on your subscription order. I offer more school strategies and resources in my July 2012 Love in Action Newsletter - Back to School Resources at http://bit.ly/nNyPn6

School Success Tip #6: Responding Rather than Reacting*

Here=s a couple of basic stress model principles to remember when you find yourself reacting rather than responding to your child. Remember that you are reacting from your unconscious. You are coming from a place of fear rather than love. This is fairly simple to overcome. First of all, slow down and think. Allow you to take several deep breaths and relax. You can then connect with your child and help him regulate. Even after you react, you can stop and create the space to respond. Continue to do your own work around your emotional trauma so when it gets triggered you can respond rather than react. *Adapted from 10 Important Back-to-School Tips for Parents and Teachers - Heather T. Forbes, LCSW If you find yourself needing additional support and encouragement to advocate for your child, contact me for a FREE 30 minute phone consult when you subscribe to my weekly Christian Parent Wisdom http://bit.ly/nmOEXw and mention that you heard about this FREE offer though this blog on your subscription order. I offer more school strategies and resources in my July 2012 Love in Action Newsletter - Back to School Resources at http://bit.ly/nNyPn6

School Success Tip #5: Understand What Your Child Views as a Threat*

Many times adults lose track of their child=s perspective. Understanding your child=s perspective is all part of meeting your child where they are. This has to do with understanding and validating their reality. What you perceive as being safe may or may not be safe to your child. Help your child put words to what is not safe. Connect with your child and without asking a lot of questions encourage them to talk about their day at school. Your child may not use the word threat or fearful when describing situations. Listen for words like hard, not liking, and even adjectives like stupid or lame. These words may be your child=s cognitive renditions of an underlying fear or threat. If your child says he Adoesn’t=t know@ use a short social story to describe what you think your child may be experiencing. You can then work with your child and teacher and develop an effective strategy to help your child feel safe. *Adapted from 10 Important Back-to-School Tips for Parents and Teachers - Heather T. Forbes, LCSW If you find yourself needing additional support and encouragement to advocate for your child, contact me for a FREE 30 minute phone consult when you subscribe to my weekly Christian Parent Wisdom http://bit.ly/nmOEXw and mention that you heard about this FREE offer though this blog on your subscription order. I offer more school strategies and resources in my July 2012 Love in Action Newsletter - Back to School Resources at http://bit.ly/nNyPn6

School Success Tip #4: Be Mindful of Situations That Cause Stress*

Here are some examples that can be stressful situations for your child. Walking in line to change classes or to go to an activity, lunchtime and the cafeteria, group activities either in the classroom or on the playground, riding the school bus, and substitute teachers, just to name a few. You may need to be a detective and investigate what situations are the most stressful for your child. Effective strategies can be developed for each one of these situations to help your child. Successful outcomes with transitions and stressful situations are usually a function of your child=s regulation and connection with his teacher and/or safe person in the school. *Adapted from 10 Important Back-to-School Tips for Parents and Teachers - Heather T. Forbes, LCSW If you find yourself needing additional support and encouragement to advocate for your child, contact me for a FREE 30 minute phone consult when you subscribe to my weekly Christian Parent Wisdom http://bit.ly/nmOEXw and mention that you heard about this FREE offer though this blog on your subscription order. I offer more school strategies and resources in my July 2012 Love in Action Newsletter - Back to School Resources at http://bit.ly/nNyPn6

School Success Tip #3: Transitions*

Transitions are huge. Transitions are usually a source of fear and terror for children with traumatic histories. This is called transition trauma. Any new stimulus is coded as a threat until it can be deemed safe. Transitions are initially coded as fear; therefore your child needs help in regulating through the transition. As you reduce your child=s fear around transitions he will eventually be able to handle transitions in a more regulated manner. There are many transitions throughout the day. Getting out of bed, getting dressed, eating breakfast, getting in the car to go to school, and changing classes, ad infinitum. Your child=s ability to handle transitions sets the tone of regulation for his day. *Adapted from 10 Important Back-to-School Tips for Parents and Teachers - Heather T. Forbes, LCSW If you find yourself needing additional support and encouragement to advocate for your child, contact me for a FREE 30 minute phone consult when you subscribe to my weekly Christian Parent Wisdom http://bit.ly/nmOEXw and mention that you heard about this FREE offer though this blog on your subscription order. I offer more school strategies and resources in my July 2012 Love in Action Newsletter - Back to School Resources at http://bit.ly/nNyPn6

School Success Tip #2 Set Your Expectations Based on Your Child's Emotional Age*

If you encounter significant challenging behaviors with your child, then your child=s emotional age will be very different from the grade that he is going into. Children with traumatic histories bring their histories into the school room with them. Having realistic expectations based on your child=s emotional age will significantly reduce pressure from you at home. This includes social expectations. Your child may not feel safe socially at school. Besides making accommodations for this at school, you can arrange small social interactions with your child outside of school. Appropriate expectations in the classroom will help your child grow out of his regressed developmental level. *Adapted from 10 Important Back-to-School Tips for Parents and Teachers - Heather T. Forbes, LCSW If you find yourself needing additional support and encouragement to advocate for your child, contact me for a FREE 30 minute phone consult when you subscribe to my weekly Christian Parent Wisdom http://bit.ly/nmOEXw and mention that you heard about this FREE offer though this blog on your subscription order. I offer more school strategies and resources in my July 2012 Love in Action Newsletter - Back to School Resources at http://bit.ly/nNyPn6

School Success Tip #1: BE an Advocate for Your Child*

It takes a lot of courage to make sure that your child=s needs are being met during the school year. It is important to start the first day of school knowing that the teacher will be the right teacher for your child. It may take a meeting with the principal and teacher prior to school starting to begin the process. Overcome your own fears prior to attempting this. Remember that your child needs to be understood. Even though the teachers are professionals, you need to trust that you know what your child needs. You are the only one who can truly advocate for your child. By doing so, you will enhance your child=s secure attachment to you as well as help your child have a successful school year. *Adapted from 10 Important Back-to-School Tips for Parents and Teachers - Heather T. Forbes, LCSW If you find yourself needing additional support and encouragement to advocate for your child, contact me for a FREE 30 minute phone consult when you subscribe to my weekly Christian Parent Wisdom http://bit.ly/nmOEXw and mention that you heard about this FREE offer though this blog on your subscription order. I offer more school strategies and resources in my July 2012 Love in Action Newsletter - Back to School Resources at http://bit.ly/nNyPn6