When working with families the primary focus is on the parents.
This is because they are the best and most likely agents of change for the children.
To do this, however, parents must be in the process of resolving their own issues. I believe that this calls for a heart change in them. I tell parents that this will be very challenging for them, but I also give them hope through the Word of God.
My personal experience with heart change helps me to understand their struggles. My personal heart change helps me understand their pain.
Parents have to feel good enough about themselves to be emotionally available for their children. Their window of tolerance needs to be able to handle any emotion that their children bring to them. Parents need to be a secure attachment figure for their child. God calls us to be in a state of love for our children.
Ken Thom, MS, LPC is a nationally recognized Christian counselor and writer. He is available for parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post Institute Certified Family Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great Behavior Breakdown Instructor as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's book Christian Parent Wisdom is a daily scripture based medication book for parenting children with challenging behaviors. Contact Ken.