tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50820570683573933862024-03-05T07:28:58.940-06:00Healing Relationships through Love in ActionChristian Counselor who uses God’s Word and Stress Model counseling principles "Healing Relationships through Love in Action"; Family counselingKen Thomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17412066110187547938noreply@blogger.comBlogger326125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5082057068357393386.post-19360986992385279452015-07-26T17:30:00.000-05:002015-07-26T17:30:00.911-05:00See Children's Behavior Differently<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivvAvpzIECoZ2Us4C_pEQn1WlmV-B6M0UCcDfmVW3FiKSTrmE388E79Y6XDSRtPDtO7Ja6eRE0hrkzTUeYviNECYZUOVJQxrY9slXH1Gre7JEjBXWuWNyUcpdLUdNGTxuwmoEwPS3cSjc/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-july+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivvAvpzIECoZ2Us4C_pEQn1WlmV-B6M0UCcDfmVW3FiKSTrmE388E79Y6XDSRtPDtO7Ja6eRE0hrkzTUeYviNECYZUOVJQxrY9slXH1Gre7JEjBXWuWNyUcpdLUdNGTxuwmoEwPS3cSjc/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-july+4.jpg" /></a>The world tells us that negative behaviors are the way that
children try to manipulate and control us, and that we should punish these
actions. We must learn to look past a child’s negative and challenging
behaviors, and shift our paradigm to see these behaviors as the child’s
communication for connection with you. We must free ourselves from the
‘shoulds’ of the world. This will be challenging, but we must think about how
God allows our negative behavior and waits for us to talk with Him. John 8:36,
says “If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">***<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Ken Thom, MS, LPC is a
nationally recognized Christian counselor and writer. He is available for
parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post Institute Certified Family
Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great Behavior Breakdown Instructor
as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's book </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/shop/"><b><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Christian Parent Wisdom</span></b></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> is
a daily scripture based medication book for parenting children with challenging
behaviors. </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/contact-ken/"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Contact Ken.</span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Ken Thomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17412066110187547938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5082057068357393386.post-11917289120213757542015-07-19T17:30:00.000-05:002015-07-19T17:30:00.219-05:00Structure Benefits Children<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgejoBPaHQ7_phRhyphenhyphenTO2EkZaFRn9DhyphenhyphenZf6FMqVSuEf3aMSIUI0GwjMDrczEgEOSrpzxPXbaVzw7p1bvADahTnF9BWH6_0X6frlmV0PTqfl4sODbmpW1RkRGAheHVJtc8_pKkq_7NKWRTPg/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-july+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgejoBPaHQ7_phRhyphenhyphenTO2EkZaFRn9DhyphenhyphenZf6FMqVSuEf3aMSIUI0GwjMDrczEgEOSrpzxPXbaVzw7p1bvADahTnF9BWH6_0X6frlmV0PTqfl4sODbmpW1RkRGAheHVJtc8_pKkq_7NKWRTPg/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-july+3.jpg" /></a>When your child exhibits irresponsible behavior, it is a
sign that your child is overwhelmed, not lazy. You may find that you need to
make your child’s world a little smaller during the summer. We have learned
that not enough structure leads to dys-regulation, so put order in your child’s
life. It can be difficult, but when dealing with dys-regulation, you must look
past any chaotic present circumstances, and see spiritual understanding while
God’s divine plan for your family unfolds. You will find that order is restored
in your life, and in your relationship with your child. 2 Corinthians 5:16
says, “From now on, therefore, we regard no one from a human point of view;
even though we once knew Christ from the human point of view, we know him no
longer in that way.”</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">***<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Ken Thom, MS, LPC is a
nationally recognized Christian counselor and writer. He is available for
parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post Institute Certified Family
Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great Behavior Breakdown Instructor
as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's book </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/shop/"><b><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Christian Parent Wisdom</span></b></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> is
a daily scripture based medication book for parenting children with challenging
behaviors. </span><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/contact-ken/">Contact Ken.</a></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
Ken Thomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17412066110187547938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5082057068357393386.post-69001418508352483842015-07-12T17:30:00.000-05:002015-07-12T17:30:01.695-05:00Connect With Love<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEqcZ2yvAQ1YcZ1JrEjpj1C4ztvOJLmYtnRUC2LMpksf28bv_3iemXykjpyq8fm1yDBoxaaH_PzyAwzZAYvYx-qeGiqEnpuWEXF6Q27NEtgU0TnIYqn3qiSEKJZGYYt2KH4_GSrbIuzZA/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-july+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEqcZ2yvAQ1YcZ1JrEjpj1C4ztvOJLmYtnRUC2LMpksf28bv_3iemXykjpyq8fm1yDBoxaaH_PzyAwzZAYvYx-qeGiqEnpuWEXF6Q27NEtgU0TnIYqn3qiSEKJZGYYt2KH4_GSrbIuzZA/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-july+2.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">We must
remember that aggression is a sign of fear. Children with trauma histories can
easily be overwhelmed by social situations. You need to look past the
aggression, see your child as being afraid, and let your heart lead you to
connect in love. God’s love is there to
comfort in all circumstances, and you must choose to comfort your child in all
circumstances. Connecting with your child will help you find peace within your
heart. Psalm 119:76 says, “</span>Let
your steadfast love become my comfort according to your promise to your
servant.”</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">***<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Ken Thom, MS, LPC is a
nationally recognized Christian counselor and writer. He is available for
parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post Institute Certified Family
Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great Behavior Breakdown Instructor as
well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's book </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/shop/"><b><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Christian Parent Wisdom</span></b></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> is
a daily scripture based medication book for parenting children with challenging
behaviors. </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/contact-ken/"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Contact Ken.</span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Ken Thomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17412066110187547938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5082057068357393386.post-15836390818171807892015-07-05T17:30:00.000-05:002015-07-05T17:30:01.819-05:00Provide Emotional Safety For Your Child<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCEdF8_0YnXHtzktTV9E_rlI29ewlymdYu90kU4vAY-ZF4Yd9xCNziMk7Ku522j9ij2I_xp5xR5wB07eYZXu5I30kKTEcmMCRqR4ZwQLJu7TC0mkqa9J4CDOotheTVEC5vzaV3kdbylTg/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-july+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCEdF8_0YnXHtzktTV9E_rlI29ewlymdYu90kU4vAY-ZF4Yd9xCNziMk7Ku522j9ij2I_xp5xR5wB07eYZXu5I30kKTEcmMCRqR4ZwQLJu7TC0mkqa9J4CDOotheTVEC5vzaV3kdbylTg/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-july+1.jpg" /></a>It is important to remember that a child who has a small
window of tolerance can be overwhelmed by positive stimulation. Do not punish
the meltdown, but rather take responsibility for not providing enough emotional
safety for your child. You can use this opportunity to connect and expand your
child’s window of tolerance. It is imperative that you remain emotionally safe
and steadfast for your child in all circumstances. When fear and dys-regulation
disrupts order and harmony, you need to affirm that all is well, and clear
yourself of all concerns. You are able
to remain steadfast because you know that God is in control. Psalm 108:1 says,
“<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My heart is steadfast, O God, my
heart is steadfast.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">***<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Ken Thom, MS, LPC is a
nationally recognized Christian counselor and writer. He is available for
parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post Institute Certified Family
Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great Behavior Breakdown Instructor
as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's book </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/shop/"><b><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Christian Parent Wisdom</span></b></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> is
a daily scripture based medication book for parenting children with challenging
behaviors. </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/contact-ken/"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Contact Ken.</span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Ken Thomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17412066110187547938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5082057068357393386.post-9665376363119538342015-06-28T17:30:00.000-05:002015-06-28T17:30:01.165-05:00Shame Tries To Block Healing<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9leM0VP0yD2Ay0z-29dMpLeO1PrwTjKRRolabgG-mf0hKeB8OpWJmv9-1xXE0YdIopwuE0UrXE4rf0krY1oPimcI8qZTXOCRcMNZS4xeIB8tYCoOyL2904w7isXOFRFLBQ33duUYMEv4/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-Sxchg-962092.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9leM0VP0yD2Ay0z-29dMpLeO1PrwTjKRRolabgG-mf0hKeB8OpWJmv9-1xXE0YdIopwuE0UrXE4rf0krY1oPimcI8qZTXOCRcMNZS4xeIB8tYCoOyL2904w7isXOFRFLBQ33duUYMEv4/s320/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-Sxchg-962092.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">As you begin the process of healing, you’ll find
yourself beginning to feel the love of Jesus.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Shame will cause you to doubt this love.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Shame will block out the power and the love of God.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Shame will block out the healing grace of God.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">That is why encouragement from other believers is so
important. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Reading the word of God will help you to understand
the new information needed for your paradigm shift. The Bible is full of God’s
promises and words of encouragement.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">We’ll begin with </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Jeremiah 1:4-5 NIV - “before I formed you in the womb I knew
you, before you were born I set you part; I appointed you as a prophet to the
nations.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">This lets
you know and establishes that God has a direction for your life from the
beginning. Your paradigm shift will allow you to see yourself through new
spiritual eyes. Being born again gives you a new life and we learn from 2
Corinthians 4:16 NIV that “we are being renewed day by day.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You want
to shift your paradigm from a “world view” to a view of what God’s will is for
you. </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">Romans 12:2 NIV tells us that you will be transformed by the renewing of
your mind.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">We must
not let Shame impede our progress because we know that we have the love of God
and the healing grace of God.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: none; text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">***<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: none; text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;">Ken<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Thom,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>MS, LPC is a
nationally recognized Christian counselor and writer. He is available for
parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post Institute Certified Family
Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great Behavior Breakdown Instructor
as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's book<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/shop/"><b><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Christian Parent Wisdom</span></b></a><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="line-height: 107%;"> </span></span><span style="line-height: 107%;">is a daily scripture based medication book for
parenting children with challenging behaviors.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/contact-ken/"><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Contact Ken.</span></a><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Ken Thomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17412066110187547938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5082057068357393386.post-18358598154722269732015-06-21T17:30:00.000-05:002015-06-21T17:30:00.619-05:00When Your Own Fears Get In The Way Of Parenting<div class="MsoNormal">
You have begun to use the 10-20-10 strategy, and are
spending more time with your children. You know that you must listen and
validate what your children are saying and feeling.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But you are finding it difficult to listen because of
challenges that you are facing. Your own fear is causing you to regret the past
and obsess about the future. Human beings live their lives largely in memory
and imagination, meaning that we are either remembering the past or imagining
the future. Our bodies are physically present, but our minds are elsewhere.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_99zZDX7hw8hA1FwVowK0YKDBp7s2qubNStydlEGwHr1TfIExjeFzVWoWBby9ZUrqTYg3drHI9K2BBkBD-zccwlHAFKeMqgpF_XnfK_pA2fOb50x5bg42TCU81YTxDQtR5Vm9KYQVTVE/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-Sxchg-419676.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_99zZDX7hw8hA1FwVowK0YKDBp7s2qubNStydlEGwHr1TfIExjeFzVWoWBby9ZUrqTYg3drHI9K2BBkBD-zccwlHAFKeMqgpF_XnfK_pA2fOb50x5bg42TCU81YTxDQtR5Vm9KYQVTVE/s320/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-Sxchg-419676.jpg" width="277" /></a>This is when you need to take a few deep breaths and really
concentrate on focusing. You need to try and be fully mindful. I know that this
can be very difficult. You need to understand that it has to occur a
microsecond at a time. The skill of emotional regulation and clearing your mind
is important and it must be developed. For a more detailed explanation about
the neural mechanisms beneath social and emotional intelligence and how these
can be cultivated through reflective practices that focus on the inner nature,
you can watch this lecture from Dr. Daniel Siegel <a href="http://bit.ly/skvVSt">http://bit.ly/skvVSt</a>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This concept is very important, but it is just as important
to understand the spiritual aspect of the process of connecting in relationships.
When two or more people are gathered a spirit is created. This is found in
Matthew 18:20. “For where two or three are gathered in My name, there I am with
them.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I admit that I don’t fully understand it, but I have felt
it. This is a mysterious thing that we probably won’t ever fully understand,
but we know that the phenomenon of a spirit created by people who are present
is a powerful thing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So remember to breathe and focus on concentrating when you
are with your children, so that you are all able to experience the spiritual
connection.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">***<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;">Ken<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Thom,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>MS, LPC is a
nationally recognized Christian counselor and writer. He is available for
parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post Institute Certified Family
Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great Behavior Breakdown Instructor
as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's book<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/shop/"><b>Christian Parent Wisdom</b></a><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>is a daily scripture based medication book for parenting
children with challenging behaviors.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/contact-ken/">Contact Ken.</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Ken Thomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17412066110187547938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5082057068357393386.post-60282412797678429222015-06-14T17:30:00.000-05:002015-06-14T17:30:00.775-05:00Fathers, Increase The Quality Time You Spend With Your Child<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj99WZtsTP5xGdWcUmhYFIoOLz_BDthyphenhyphensAjMEPd66qYTm6fzgmCZXnp2QR5QWPQXjcdNRMfpDfpKIkdTpm5oQMCiGwEB5xTh8kIULfGHY2fk448FXo5vJUdUiF1uo57xBUGAPNCnAzLMJE/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-Sxchg-1320108.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj99WZtsTP5xGdWcUmhYFIoOLz_BDthyphenhyphensAjMEPd66qYTm6fzgmCZXnp2QR5QWPQXjcdNRMfpDfpKIkdTpm5oQMCiGwEB5xTh8kIULfGHY2fk448FXo5vJUdUiF1uo57xBUGAPNCnAzLMJE/s320/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-Sxchg-1320108.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you think back on your own childhood, do you remember the
things that your father bought you or activities that you did together. I think
we all remember going fishing, camping, playing catch, etc.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now is the time to make the decision to increase the quality
time that you spend with your children.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I recommend that you learn and utilize the 10-20-10 strategy,
which is a simple formula to follow. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You spend 10 minutes in the morning, 20
minutes in the afternoon, and 10 minutes in the evening with your children.
These opportunities are simply to listen and not judge, blame, or shame. You
need to validate what your children are saying and feeling. Validation does not
mean that you agree with what they are saying and feeling, but you are
listening and hearing them.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Spending less than an hour each day listening to your
children can begin to repair broken relationships. Repairing relationships
allows you to help influence your children to start making more responsible
decisions while also demonstrating respect.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, tomorrow, begin using the 10-20-10 strategy and remember
to listen.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: none; text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">***<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: none; text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;">Ken<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Thom,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>MS, LPC is a
nationally recognized Christian counselor and writer. He is available for
parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post Institute Certified Family
Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great Behavior Breakdown Instructor
as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's book<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/shop/"><b>Christian Parent Wisdom</b></a><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>is a daily scripture based medication book for parenting
children with challenging behaviors.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/contact-ken/">Contact Ken.</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Ken Thomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17412066110187547938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5082057068357393386.post-69526337636875941712015-06-07T17:30:00.000-05:002015-06-07T17:30:00.769-05:00Fathers Are Responsible For Love, Grace and Forgiveness<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKm8DLzFbhDOY6Fr0VHkGLge3ehGIZWwjEyrCAHcmOFBR-nvCIxBDitiDJZFsUX-0hK1YcXouz0UIGdZDe7_vj5bV-FkYAAVdIZuQVwpZZ1U6swgHhGZy6cG0jDFvxZ-VQKbxrp7XYZOc/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-Sxchg-1181526.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKm8DLzFbhDOY6Fr0VHkGLge3ehGIZWwjEyrCAHcmOFBR-nvCIxBDitiDJZFsUX-0hK1YcXouz0UIGdZDe7_vj5bV-FkYAAVdIZuQVwpZZ1U6swgHhGZy6cG0jDFvxZ-VQKbxrp7XYZOc/s320/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-Sxchg-1181526.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Being a father can be very trying, but it can also be one of
the most fulfilling jobs you will ever have. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You must understand that challenges bring with them great
opportunities for healing and reconnection. You have the ability to interrupt
your children’s stress cycles, and become emotionally safe for your children. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Remember to breathe in and get past your own fear. When you
respond in love you send positive energy to the places that need healing.
Emotional regulation through love promotes healing, and you can help your
children become refreshed at the cellular level.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Your part in the healing process is to bring love, grace,
and forgiveness into your children’s lives. By allowing love, grace, and
forgiveness to flow through you, you help create an environment that is
conducive to healing. You are not responsible for healing, but you are
responsible for helping others on their journey to heal.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Simple? Yes.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Complex and hard to do? Yes.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Perfect love and forgiveness comes only from Jesus through
our relationship with him. Therefore, you must work to get yourself into that
place of love and forgiven</div>
ess, so that can help others.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
"It will be a healing for your flesh and refreshment
for your body." Proverbs 3:8</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: none; text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">***<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: none; text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;">Ken<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Thom,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>MS, LPC is a
nationally recognized Christian counselor and writer. He is available for
parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post Institute Certified Family
Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great Behavior Breakdown Instructor
as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's book<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/shop/"><b>Christian Parent Wisdom</b></a><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>is a daily scripture based medication book for parenting
children with challenging behaviors.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/contact-ken/">Contact Ken.</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Ken Thomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17412066110187547938noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5082057068357393386.post-2166328460986339982015-05-31T17:30:00.000-05:002015-05-31T17:30:00.822-05:00Modeling Relationships For Your Children<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKkDzSpg_IyAB_vKU-I6Qv01FknJK4N8payhRtMZdgsCquUWq4AK87j6eLVwwLNS6p-Kt_FJ8Z83g0Vag-gbaEBPSb8MAZ7DHr1kPB_iiwN1TuD5AoMKx47DlwP_YhVot7dXQkuA3MNaI/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-536499.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKkDzSpg_IyAB_vKU-I6Qv01FknJK4N8payhRtMZdgsCquUWq4AK87j6eLVwwLNS6p-Kt_FJ8Z83g0Vag-gbaEBPSb8MAZ7DHr1kPB_iiwN1TuD5AoMKx47DlwP_YhVot7dXQkuA3MNaI/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-536499.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN">When we speak
about mothers modeling healthy relationships for their children, let’s not
forget the oxytocin factor. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN">Mothers are
usually better equipped neurologically to express and process feelings. Mothers
tend to be better at helping a child develop a strong oxytocin response. All
children need this. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN">Boys and girls
both need this to balance their testosterone levels that begin to rise in
puberty. If mothers don’t help their daughters with this, the daughters will
seek out that regulation from males. Boys need regulation from their mothers to
help reduce and manage their aggressive tendencies; otherwise connection with
other aggressive males will escalate their aggressive tendencies. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN">Oxytocin helps
maintain emotional regulation. Emotional regulation allows us to connect in
relationship with others. Emotional regulation keeps us out of a state of fear.
Fear causes irrational and distorted thinking and short-term memory loss.
Equipping your child to have a strong oxytocin response as well as learning how
to stimulate their own oxytocin is an invaluable gift to give to your child. It
is most definitely the gift that keeps on giving. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN">Most importantly,
be a Godly role model. Treat your child with mercy and grace in all situations.
Just like your Heavenly Father treats you. Demonstrate forgiveness. Train up
your child in the ways of the Lord, <a href="http://bg4.me/GKHsu0">Proverbs
22:6</a>. Pray with them, not just for them. Actively engage them in praise and
worship for God. Make God the center of your relationship with them. Make God
the center of all family relationships. Read my article “<a href="http://bit.ly/nNyPn6">Godly Families</a>”. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN">Check out <a href="http://bit.ly/qttJhQ">my website</a> for products and services that will
help you along your journey. Remember to parent in love because love never
fails.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
***<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ken<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Thom,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>MS, LPC is a nationally recognized Christian counselor and
writer. He is available for parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post
Institute Certified Family Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great
Behavior Breakdown Instructor as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's
book<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/shop/"><b>Christian Parent Wisdom</b></a><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>is a daily scripture based medication book for parenting
children with challenging behaviors.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/contact-ken/">Contact Ken.</a><o:p></o:p></div>
Ken Thomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17412066110187547938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5082057068357393386.post-11987444245072993262015-05-24T17:30:00.000-05:002015-05-24T17:30:01.474-05:00Your Children Learn From Watching You<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRtEpaEGhCMorp5NutqjtUM9dP6bvPctiVDYSHkkf2hKWbVYU_HtArT6IHZBizJv0gk2kyHC8WHlY5lIg33BVFb1i145H1Pc1VeQigKBEOVUUMOqL5RZ0-rX_QtCYkyLgIKhb7mqoZXNo/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-1205195.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRtEpaEGhCMorp5NutqjtUM9dP6bvPctiVDYSHkkf2hKWbVYU_HtArT6IHZBizJv0gk2kyHC8WHlY5lIg33BVFb1i145H1Pc1VeQigKBEOVUUMOqL5RZ0-rX_QtCYkyLgIKhb7mqoZXNo/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-1205195.jpg" height="255" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN">Mothers are the
role model for their children of interaction with the opposite sex. How mothers
interact with their spouses teaches their children how adult relationships are
“supposed” to be.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN">Children learn
through modeling. Your behavior teaches your son and your daughter what is
acceptable or not acceptable in relationships. Open communication and
expression of feelings with your spouse lets your children know it is OK to
feel. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN">Setting healthy
boundaries in your relationships will automatically help your child set healthy
boundaries in their lives. Boys will learn what it is to respect females. Your
son will be more likely to turn to you for matters of the heart when he sees
you being able to listen to his dad’s feelings. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN">Girls will learn
to expect respect from males. Girls will learn that they have a right to expect
men to listen to them. This promotes positive self esteem with both boys and
girls. Simply put, they become comfortable with being either male or female. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN">Both masculinity
and femininity are validated when they are demonstrated through healthy,
regulated behaviors. This keeps us away from the “battle of the sexes”.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
***<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ken<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Thom,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>MS, LPC is a nationally recognized Christian counselor and
writer. He is available for parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post
Institute Certified Family Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great
Behavior Breakdown Instructor as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's
book<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/shop/"><b>Christian Parent Wisdom</b></a><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>is a daily scripture based medication book for parenting
children with challenging behaviors.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/contact-ken/">Contact Ken.</a><o:p></o:p></div>
Ken Thomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17412066110187547938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5082057068357393386.post-89735185357886978552015-05-17T17:30:00.000-05:002015-05-17T17:30:00.078-05:00Give Your Children A Voice<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvRIzrKiDt49FVOpsRmb_urv-uGGFWacVABz8KmZ0d11e7OUe8aYFhPNQbU0GVSo7dqNLff1TuF8bHhp7O_KTk5MN6qb6qdF6HtdvJELhS7KTfOocbsfg2aqtfwaGAnAZBVIsV6E7irIQ/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-698517.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvRIzrKiDt49FVOpsRmb_urv-uGGFWacVABz8KmZ0d11e7OUe8aYFhPNQbU0GVSo7dqNLff1TuF8bHhp7O_KTk5MN6qb6qdF6HtdvJELhS7KTfOocbsfg2aqtfwaGAnAZBVIsV6E7irIQ/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-698517.jpg" height="264" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN">It is important
for parents to help their children have a voice. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN">Many girls grow
up with a blueprint of always having to please. This interferes with them
setting healthy boundaries. This can be achieved by allowing your daughter to
be frustrated or angry. Be in that space with her. Let her know that those
feelings are OK. Let her know that you can handle her feelings. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN">There is a
tendency to shut our children down if they express their feelings and it feels
disrespectful. You may shut them down if their feelings are too intense for you
to handle. The appropriateness of expression can be taught at a later time. The
important thing is that they are expressing their feelings. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN">When you validate
their feelings, you are validating who they are. That is another piece of them
that then becomes OK. Not validating their feelings tells them that their
feelings are not OK. Therefore they are not OK. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN">Boys may find
their voice only through anger. Many times anger is the only feelings boys are
allowed to have. Our society tells men that it’s not OK to cry or be
vulnerable. When their anger is shut down, boys feel disrespected. Then the
message is that anger is not OK. This means that they are not OK. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN">The anger is
suppressed. Suppressed anger builds into rage. Rage can then become out of
control. It may go the other direction and contribute to depression. After
validating your son’s anger, you can then start to reach the hurt and fear that
is under the anger. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN">Parents need to
evaluate their own blueprints around anger. Parents need to understand their
own reactions to anger in order to connect with their children when their
children are angry. Otherwise the child feels rejected. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
***<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ken<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Thom,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>MS, LPC is a nationally recognized Christian counselor and
writer. He is available for parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post
Institute Certified Family Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great
Behavior Breakdown Instructor as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's
book<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/shop/"><b>Christian Parent Wisdom</b></a><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>is a daily scripture based medication book for parenting
children with challenging behaviors.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/contact-ken/">Contact Ken.</a><o:p></o:p></div>
Ken Thomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17412066110187547938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5082057068357393386.post-52642909304359707712015-05-10T17:30:00.000-05:002015-05-10T17:30:01.125-05:00Make Mother’s Day Happy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhThoMU-z7y-PYdMKkmC8Y1VExpIhQzD6rCmpAlwOPkTnBY4tVtxzUglGwQf-sGvlHDCTblfIvMTjd9iDpq5dOimcx-jF0PcYxoL4_rxsqqQTBe6nIk0HMiNlrK6NHgKDQ8qBhSoAZeFxw/s1600/ken+thom+freeallpicturesdotcom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhThoMU-z7y-PYdMKkmC8Y1VExpIhQzD6rCmpAlwOPkTnBY4tVtxzUglGwQf-sGvlHDCTblfIvMTjd9iDpq5dOimcx-jF0PcYxoL4_rxsqqQTBe6nIk0HMiNlrK6NHgKDQ8qBhSoAZeFxw/s1600/ken+thom+freeallpicturesdotcom.jpg" height="225" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This Mother’s
Day, take some time to find out who your child really is. Find out what they
are all about. We carry with us way too many stereotypes of girls and boys, and
of females and males.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN">Many of the role
models we experience in society are inaccurate. Some stereotypes may come from
your own family background and traditions. It is unfair to place these roles or
stereotypes on your children. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN">If you don’t
value and honor your child for whom he or she is, then they will not be able to
value and honor themselves. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN">This may be a
challenge because of your own past experiences in relationships. You may see
someone else in your child because of something in your past. Work through this
because that miss-perception about your son or daughter will not allow you to
connect in love. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN">That irrational
or erroneous belief about your son or daughter will take you out of
relationship with your child. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN">I hope you have
been enjoying a very Happy Mother’s Day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
***<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ken<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Thom,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>MS, LPC is a nationally recognized Christian counselor and
writer. He is available for parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post
Institute Certified Family Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great
Behavior Breakdown Instructor as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's
book<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/shop/"><b>Christian Parent Wisdom</b></a><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>is a daily scripture based medication book for parenting
children with challenging behaviors.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/contact-ken/">Contact Ken.</a><o:p></o:p></div>
Ken Thomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17412066110187547938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5082057068357393386.post-68276983451808115342015-05-03T17:30:00.000-05:002015-05-03T17:30:01.012-05:00Influence’s Influence On Parenting<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHBtwwMkQYqu2UVonT9Ns8wvbd6cIQo9N72rFv42bzaMp2NTnKifdV97qPxK8nkxWqjYxJh46iwdi3kXSBPvEXkJRm-8w9QoviSSKzKIWcr822xqYKhg0yLmsu38wglCsmiGw2h_2Vgao/s1600/KEN+THOM+mom+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHBtwwMkQYqu2UVonT9Ns8wvbd6cIQo9N72rFv42bzaMp2NTnKifdV97qPxK8nkxWqjYxJh46iwdi3kXSBPvEXkJRm-8w9QoviSSKzKIWcr822xqYKhg0yLmsu38wglCsmiGw2h_2Vgao/s1600/KEN+THOM+mom+1.jpg" height="69" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mother's Day is just around the corner. This is a time of
family gatherings to celebrate mothers. Family traditions of cookouts, picnics
and dining out are fairly common. It goes without saying: Mothers play a very
important role in our lives. Many articles and books have been written about
this. There is a tremendous amount of research about being a mother. It has
been dissected from every angle and from numerous counseling theories. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Attachment theory says that <span lang="EN">Infants form attachments to any consistent caregiver who is sensitive and
responsive in social interactions with them. The quality of the social
engagement is more influential than the amount of time spent. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN">One of the most
important, if not the most important concept to keep in mind is that parenting
is all about influence. It is easy to cross that thin boundary into control.
Remember, control is a function of fear. Influence is a function of love. Each
and every interaction with your child influences what they will do in the
future: their relationships, their career decisions, and their spiritual focus.
Ask yourself this question, “What am I doing right now to improve my
relationship with my child?” Another question to ask your self is - “What am I
doing to connect with my child in a mindful manner?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN">Both of those are
simple questions or concepts. That doesn’t necessarily mean that the answer or
response will be easy. There are many challenges in simple concepts. After all,
did you really know what you were signing up for when you decided to be a
parent? I don’t think any of us had a clue. I know from my personal experience
that teaching and writing about these concepts is much easier than implementing
them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
***<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ken<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Thom,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>MS, LPC is a nationally recognized Christian counselor and
writer. He is available for parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post
Institute Certified Family Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great
Behavior Breakdown Instructor as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's
book<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/shop/"><b>Christian Parent Wisdom</b></a><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>is a daily scripture based medication book for parenting
children with challenging behaviors.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/contact-ken/">Contact Ken.</a><o:p></o:p></div>
Ken Thomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17412066110187547938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5082057068357393386.post-16970011224150852452015-04-26T17:30:00.000-05:002015-04-26T17:30:00.479-05:00Religion vs. Spirituality<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzI7iXlwQytGjRcO1rxfOq8wj_8X7sj7BvSMYvXLmUs5FmHzwJ61XqH9K3iXepRgqLlAUbwFh-FDApve7TaprZMB7bMDGGGMBoK2Ez_4h4UpBSvIIR_b9Qsbw0bJJLwOGb86GwL1mzWj8/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-17654.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzI7iXlwQytGjRcO1rxfOq8wj_8X7sj7BvSMYvXLmUs5FmHzwJ61XqH9K3iXepRgqLlAUbwFh-FDApve7TaprZMB7bMDGGGMBoK2Ez_4h4UpBSvIIR_b9Qsbw0bJJLwOGb86GwL1mzWj8/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-17654.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On this journey, it is important to separate religion from spirituality.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Religion is the way that you practice your spirituality. It is a
structure through which you demonstrate your faith. Religion is made by man.
Therefore it is flawed. All too often, our perception of spirituality and faith
is damaged by religion. Therefore, it is important to look past religion to
what you believe in. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When religious and other human experiences block your spiritual
journey, you may need to review the articles on forgiveness. Be courageous and
press on to break the bondage of shame and heal spiritually. Belief in Jesus
means that there is a power greater than yourself that you can rely on.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jesus said in John 14:6 NIV “I
am the way and the truth and the life.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That is not to the exclusion of
others, but that Jesus is the ultimate power. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That is very scary for
shame-based people because of their lack of trust, which is based on their
human experiences. It is natural and normal to place human characteristics on
God because our human experiences dictate our perceptions. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Reading the word of God will
help you understand the new information needed for your paradigm shift. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Bible is full of God’s promises and words of encouragement.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
***<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ken<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Thom,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>MS, LPC is a nationally recognized Christian counselor and
writer. He is available for parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post
Institute Certified Family Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great
Behavior Breakdown Instructor as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's
book<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/shop/"><b>Christian Parent Wisdom</b></a><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>is a daily scripture based medication book for parenting
children with challenging behaviors.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/contact-ken/">Contact Ken.</a><o:p></o:p></div>
Ken Thomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17412066110187547938noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5082057068357393386.post-42783907607172187912015-04-19T17:30:00.000-05:002015-04-19T17:30:01.725-05:00Shift Paradigm, Release Shame<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizTieqzDntBw7_K-DGIMaupnU9-RnbRWpYlbu8kLIRQJ_Yh3jHaeLREaR0RG-iaZ7nz3OchALjmIR8AIZjMC5yeShiNbTb82KdgjTR3-v9s0lBGlXFc4hVLLsrcye2MnW2ENG8lJ40vY4/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-964357.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizTieqzDntBw7_K-DGIMaupnU9-RnbRWpYlbu8kLIRQJ_Yh3jHaeLREaR0RG-iaZ7nz3OchALjmIR8AIZjMC5yeShiNbTb82KdgjTR3-v9s0lBGlXFc4hVLLsrcye2MnW2ENG8lJ40vY4/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-964357.jpg" height="320" width="282" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
For you to begin releasing the bondage of shame, a paradigm shift is necessary.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The first step in shifting your paradigm begins when you are able to
see the world as benevolent, and yourself as worthy. Shame-based individuals do
not see their world as being benevolent because of their experiences, which
have taught them shame in their life. Seeing the world as benevolent may seem
like an overwhelming task, considering the condition of our world today. But if
you don’t see the world as benevolent, everyone is your enemy which makes it
very hard to get anything good out of this world. This perspective keeps you in
a state of hypervigilance and fear.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The second step in this paradigm shift that shame-based people need to take is to start
taking risks. When you take risks, you may lose something of value. What
shame-based people fear losing the most is what little self-esteem they
possess. This part of the paradigm shift involves separating yourself, and who
you are, from your experience. For example, a failing grade does not mean you
are a failure. An offer not being accepted is not a rejection of you as a
person. It is simply a rejection of your offer. Shame-based people achieve
their self-worth from performance, and separating self-worth from performance
can be a difficult task.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The third step in this paradigm shift is distinguishing between risks
that have potential positive outcomes, and risks that are a setup for failure. Initially,
you need to begin by not repeating previous failures, which will help you to
identify patterns of failure.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Taking these steps will help you to begin
making the paradigm shift. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It will
not be easy, but with prayer and belief you will be able to achieve your goal.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
***<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ken<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Thom,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>MS, LPC is a nationally recognized Christian counselor and
writer. He is available for parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post Institute
Certified Family Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great Behavior
Breakdown Instructor as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's book<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/shop/"><b>Christian Parent Wisdom</b></a><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>is a daily scripture based medication book for parenting
children with challenging behaviors.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/contact-ken/">Contact Ken.</a><o:p></o:p></div>
Ken Thomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17412066110187547938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5082057068357393386.post-65415840849116985082015-04-12T17:30:00.000-05:002015-04-12T17:30:00.984-05:00Prayer Can Help You Achieve Positive Results<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1Qf8ZEfFW6nLKJCfp4VNTvxMyp4Iu7sZaKWXSeP_G0o3gw8GpxepPZ6hUj2I_h_FJWcL2u_icN8-_n4NOsXIw3PlFWrIadEFQp5PhLBCrsH1XcopVaJMkUyQpkoyptTd3MJ5aAzUki0Y/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-399613.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1Qf8ZEfFW6nLKJCfp4VNTvxMyp4Iu7sZaKWXSeP_G0o3gw8GpxepPZ6hUj2I_h_FJWcL2u_icN8-_n4NOsXIw3PlFWrIadEFQp5PhLBCrsH1XcopVaJMkUyQpkoyptTd3MJ5aAzUki0Y/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-399613.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Most
shame-based people that I have spoken with know what they need to do different.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The
problem is that they do not follow through with a decision that has the
potential for a positive outcome.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There
are two components of not following through.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A
shame-based person’s internal definition is not congruent with success, and
that keeps them from following through. There is too much unconscious
resistance to taking that first positive step.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The
second component is a spiritual battle. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The
Apostle Paul says in Romans 7:15 (NIV) - “I do not understand what I do. For
what I want to do I do not do but what I hate I do.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As
Christians, we also know that “The thief comes only to steal and kill and
destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” - John
10:10 (NIV).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Pray
about all of your decisions, and ask others to pray for you.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I am
able to do all things through Him who strengthens me.” - Philippians 4:13
(NIV).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Identify
a task that you believe you can realistically achieve, and use prayer and
belief to reach a positive outcome.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
***<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ken<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Thom,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>MS, LPC is a nationally recognized Christian counselor and
writer. He is available for parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post
Institute Certified Family Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great
Behavior Breakdown Instructor as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's
book<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/shop/"><b>Christian Parent Wisdom</b></a><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>is a daily scripture based medication book for parenting
children with challenging behaviors.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/contact-ken/">Contact Ken.</a><o:p></o:p></div>
Ken Thomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17412066110187547938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5082057068357393386.post-16984241850709530102015-04-05T17:30:00.000-05:002015-04-05T17:30:01.407-05:00Why Do We Feel Shame<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY0SpitmZBq-qHuf9kiA1X1V_nYt6S6hB07wl0uCy7-hX8wmStfKK5E8o_y-N4_uhcDl33h-HnvBAgx3vc5qv6Pnwd7MAzoZuqdnuSZn93w0fAZiAqcfMTiKgSJsFD9wJtuVvPHFcdLMw/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-872823.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY0SpitmZBq-qHuf9kiA1X1V_nYt6S6hB07wl0uCy7-hX8wmStfKK5E8o_y-N4_uhcDl33h-HnvBAgx3vc5qv6Pnwd7MAzoZuqdnuSZn93w0fAZiAqcfMTiKgSJsFD9wJtuVvPHFcdLMw/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-872823.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Shame is taught or learned in many ways. I have compiled an extensive
list, but I’m sure that there are many more ways that shame develops into
self-defeating patterns in our lives. Even if you do not recognize the example
as happening in your life, you may realize it later as you explore examples
that are familiar to you.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Shame-based people block out the past because it is so painful, but you
must allow yourself time to explore your past.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Universal Criticism is the belief that nothing you do is good enough.
If you get three A’s and one B, you only focus on the negative of the B as
opposed to the positive of the A’s. You clean the house, and then find one
corner that still has dust. You find yourself fixating on that small area as
opposed to appreciating the rest of the clean house.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Neglect is knowing that you are loved, but still having a sense that
something is missing or that something is wrong with you. This can be the
result of a lack of physical presence. You can also experience this feeling on
an unconscious level with a lack of emotional presence even if there is a
physical presence.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Children usually celebrate if there are No Rules, but the unconscious
message is that they are not important enough to have rules and boundaries.
When there are not any rules, parents do not pay attention to their children. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The exact opposite is Rules that cannot be met. This occurs if Rules
are unreasonably high or too rigid to be achieved. The unconscious message is
that there is something wrong with you because you cannot follow the Rules.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lack of Touch and not being held is very abusive. When you see your
friends being hugged, and you are not then you perceive it as there must be
something wrong with you.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Physical Abuse is touch or sexualized behavior that is hurtful and
given without compassion. The message again is that there must be something
wrong with you. Otherwise, it wouldn’t have happened.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Responsibility for other people’s behavior, something that you have no
control over. Examples include a parent’s drinking problem, siblings destroying
things, and conflicts in the family. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Blame is the result of feeling responsible for other people’s behavior.
You feel that it is your fault, and you become a scapegoat.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Unrealistic Expectations is being expected to know how to do something
despite never being taught or given the opportunity to learn. You are made to
feel that because you make a mistake that you are a mistake. That because you
do not intuitively or instinctively know how to do something that there must be
something wrong with you.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sibling Comparisons include being smarter, more athletic, prettier, and
more responsible.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Religion told you, or you defined yourself as evil or a sinner, and
that you need penance to be good. This causes you to be shame-based rather than
grace-based.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You must allow yourself time to
explore your past. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It will not be easy and can be
very painful, but it is necessary.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
***<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ken<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Thom,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>MS, LPC is a nationally recognized Christian counselor and
writer. He is available for parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post
Institute Certified Family Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great
Behavior Breakdown Instructor as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's
book<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/shop/"><b>Christian Parent Wisdom</b></a><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>is a daily scripture based medication book for parenting
children with challenging behaviors.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/contact-ken/">Contact Ken.</a><o:p></o:p></div>
Ken Thomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17412066110187547938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5082057068357393386.post-42225539632359234762015-03-29T17:30:00.000-05:002015-03-29T17:30:01.279-05:00Patience Is Necessary While Transforming<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg63VMUGv9RR5bj7jD00HBmzoh-tXaz3nZnrDODyZRp2SuOum4rz4RoZ3UX3Dn-wks5rkL78lFK6d0B_2gwETWefGb6IwG_4rADJtU5oBqB9gID47wB5bQuhcncUba_YU9RRRVkVBXBTa8/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-1433097.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg63VMUGv9RR5bj7jD00HBmzoh-tXaz3nZnrDODyZRp2SuOum4rz4RoZ3UX3Dn-wks5rkL78lFK6d0B_2gwETWefGb6IwG_4rADJtU5oBqB9gID47wB5bQuhcncUba_YU9RRRVkVBXBTa8/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-1433097.jpg" height="211" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We have been learning that if we are to make a heart change, we must be
willing to not only serve others but also to accept all situations,
circumstances, and people exactly where they are at.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To accomplish this, I encourage and challenge you to give up using your
willpower. By simply walking the walk, you put yourself in the place where you
can be changed. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Unfortunately, we are human and it is in our nature to try to make
things happen. We are impatient, controlling, and prideful. These
characteristics are all about us. A minister friend of mine calls this “Meism”
and it is not about God and others. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you are truly going to experience a heart change then you have to
allow the Holy Spirit to work in your life. Allow the Holy Spirit to gradually
transform you into the likeness of Jesus. Remember, your salvation is not just
an event. It is a work of transformation sustained by God’s grace. Changing
behavior without being transformed by the Holy Spirit is a shallow and futile
human effort.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can guarantee that this will not be easy, and you will have to face
things in your past that are painful. You will need to grieve your losses, and
you will need to cry out for God’s mercy and grace to help you through the hard
times. I am a witness and a living testimony that this works.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I challenge you to become all you can be for your children. Guide,
lead, and direct them in the ways of the Lord. Your children are just temporary
gifts for you to take care of, and you will be blessed beyond measure for
loving God’s children.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When we do this, God is pleased. When we do this, others benefit.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: none; text-align: center;">
***<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ken<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Thom,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>MS, LPC is a nationally recognized Christian counselor and
writer. He is available for parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post
Institute Certified Family Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great
Behavior Breakdown Instructor as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's
book<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/shop/"><b>Christian Parent Wisdom</b></a><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>is a daily scripture based medication book for parenting
children with challenging behaviors.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/contact-ken/">Contact Ken.</a><o:p></o:p></div>
Ken Thomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17412066110187547938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5082057068357393386.post-30694030353130848592015-03-22T17:30:00.000-05:002015-03-22T17:30:00.686-05:00Love, Tolerance Are Necessary<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBTsWU7JH8jni-fNlit_U8ylgiYyRzIoQ-IvFJ2lXP4r6U2eO-0KoM71EwY11VMURd7tbkcEVo4LLapMNBm4a7YvmDh9ujKwW0jr02ycxZuPJiw_nYP-V-JIdB1lCYvRbvH7M51_Id8h0/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-1195576.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBTsWU7JH8jni-fNlit_U8ylgiYyRzIoQ-IvFJ2lXP4r6U2eO-0KoM71EwY11VMURd7tbkcEVo4LLapMNBm4a7YvmDh9ujKwW0jr02ycxZuPJiw_nYP-V-JIdB1lCYvRbvH7M51_Id8h0/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-1195576.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We have been speaking about making a heart change, and how the change
is not made for us.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you search BibleGateway.com, you will find “one another” used 190 times,
and “each other” used 981 times. What this means is that we are called and
commanded to serve others. This cannot be done without a heart change.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Other than doing random acts of kindness, service to others involves
relationships, which come in a variety of forms and at different levels.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The secular world identifies that joy is involved in the
attachment/bonding process.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nehemiah 8:10 tell us
“...This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is
your strength.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is strength in
relationships, and through sacrifice and heart change we develop healthy
relationships. I believe that joy is the overflow of healthy relationships. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Even in the best of
relationships there are going to be bumps in the road. We need to expand our windows
of tolerance to endure these bumps. Our capacity for love needs to accept all
situations, circumstances, and people exactly where they are at.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What a Challenge!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But we must remember that to have a heart change and serve others takes
sacrifice. When we do this, God is pleased. When we do this, others benefit.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: none; text-align: center;">
***<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ken<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Thom,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>MS, LPC is a nationally recognized Christian counselor and
writer. He is available for parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post
Institute Certified Family Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great
Behavior Breakdown Instructor as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's
book<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/shop/"><b>Christian Parent Wisdom</b></a><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>is a daily scripture based medication book for parenting
children with challenging behaviors.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/contact-ken/">Contact Ken.</a><o:p></o:p></div>
Ken Thomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17412066110187547938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5082057068357393386.post-26338513115529456552015-03-15T17:30:00.000-05:002015-03-15T17:30:00.284-05:00Change Is For God, Not Ourselves<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd77OCuHfjTIUUQzw_HseFBvObrDqrCtQK28xIcddFtqBlke7zW-QB-al-fP_5eAxaRnbJSVGeJ3TOM-xd83Lc1i38V0wP0Uope8gpLe5PYV50niV62rna23rV5jsFNg1eO8Gg4ALfAjU/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-1195513.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd77OCuHfjTIUUQzw_HseFBvObrDqrCtQK28xIcddFtqBlke7zW-QB-al-fP_5eAxaRnbJSVGeJ3TOM-xd83Lc1i38V0wP0Uope8gpLe5PYV50niV62rna23rV5jsFNg1eO8Gg4ALfAjU/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-1195513.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We have determined that in order to help their children, parents must
first make a heart change of their own.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Making the decision to make a heart change can seem very simple on the
surface. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And, I believe that it is simple, but paradoxically, complex usually
goes hand in hand with the simple.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
During this process, the most important thing we need to remember is
who we are doing this for. It is for God’s glory. It is for God’s joy. It is so
He can be pleased with us.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When Jesus was baptized, a white dove appeared. The windows of heaven
opened up. Matthew 3:17: “And a voice from heaven said, ‘This is my Son, whom I
love, with him I am well pleased.’”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I pray that this is what is in our hearts, to please God.
Unfortunately, as humans, we can get caught up in consumer Christianity. I
learned the term Consumer Christianity from Brian Zahn at Word of Life Church
in St. Joseph, Missouri. It means that we treat God like an ATM machine. When
we find ourselves in a time of crisis, we simply take the God card to the ATM
and get what we need. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I firmly believe that we cannot out give God. I doubt that God blesses
us if our motive for giving is to receive. To have a heart change and serve
others takes sacrifice. When we do this, God is pleased. When we do this,
others benefit.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Remember it is not for our glory. It is for God’s glory. It is for
God’s joy. It is so He can be pleased with us.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: none; text-align: center;">
***<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ken<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Thom,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>MS, LPC is a nationally recognized Christian counselor and
writer. He is available for parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post
Institute Certified Family Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great
Behavior Breakdown Instructor as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's
book<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/shop/"><b>Christian Parent Wisdom</b></a><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>is a daily scripture based medication book for parenting
children with challenging behaviors.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/contact-ken/">Contact Ken.</a><o:p></o:p></div>
Ken Thomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17412066110187547938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5082057068357393386.post-14671486499357032842015-03-08T17:30:00.000-05:002015-03-08T17:30:00.968-05:00Change Is Possible, But We Need God<div class="MsoNormal">
We have talked about how parents must change, so that they are able to
be a secure attachment figure for their children.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Romans 8:29 says: “Our purposes is to become like Jesus.” That is, be
transformed into His likeness.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Romans 12:2 says: “Do not conform to the pattern of this wo<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoab37YQanqr1GULGqT9K6GqXvpS6S24kup7oGyzRJ-c0o7CRaLJwC77CaWJJQjjAFcTbPm4dvx_cAlpTgP6U_YldJXDGak8TJUicBxoH-811LG0yg8aiNDn3HcF6J77CuPQqNGFjphsg/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-992378.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoab37YQanqr1GULGqT9K6GqXvpS6S24kup7oGyzRJ-c0o7CRaLJwC77CaWJJQjjAFcTbPm4dvx_cAlpTgP6U_YldJXDGak8TJUicBxoH-811LG0yg8aiNDn3HcF6J77CuPQqNGFjphsg/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-992378.jpg" height="245" width="320" /></a></div>
rld, but be
transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and
approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.”<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Psalm 51 tells us that we need the Holy Spirit in order to be
transformed. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That is, receive a new heart. We need to ask God to help us to do that.
The molding and shaping of our heart cannot simply be done by willpower. Have
you ever used willpower to stop diarrhea? Hopefully that is not too graphic,
but it illustrates the point. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We first have to become willing to be open to the Holy Spirit. We don’t
have to figure out how to change ourselves. We can’t change our personalities.
We can’t change our blueprints by ourselves. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We are not designed to be able to make such
changes on our own, but we all have hope through the Word of God.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: none; text-align: center;">
***<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ken<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Thom,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>MS, LPC is a nationally recognized Christian counselor and
writer. He is available for parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post
Institute Certified Family Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great
Behavior Breakdown Instructor as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's
book<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/shop/"><b>Christian Parent Wisdom</b></a><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>is a daily scripture based medication book for parenting
children with challenging behaviors.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/contact-ken/">Contact Ken.</a><o:p></o:p></div>
Ken Thomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17412066110187547938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5082057068357393386.post-83180866564229511822015-03-01T17:30:00.000-06:002015-03-01T17:30:00.587-06:00Parents Must Resolve Issues First<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOFh42689cWqR-_puRmkgnCmy2TKdRkPgH6lA_9IhtTqi9IJC9mJudt1QCzeYjIfhgE1QQWLp_KxMPe5DdVgkhh7RfEi9j6FUL3jOvprnsPJhjhXrOnvnMBgrATdeomSOYzwwcesbrxT8/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-1433098.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOFh42689cWqR-_puRmkgnCmy2TKdRkPgH6lA_9IhtTqi9IJC9mJudt1QCzeYjIfhgE1QQWLp_KxMPe5DdVgkhh7RfEi9j6FUL3jOvprnsPJhjhXrOnvnMBgrATdeomSOYzwwcesbrxT8/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-1433098.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When working with families the primary focus
is on the parents. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is because they are the best and most
likely agents of change for the children.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To do this, however, parents must be in the
process of resolving their own issues. I believe that this calls for a heart
change in them. I tell parents that this will be very challenging for them, but
I also give them hope through the Word of God.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My personal experience with heart change
helps me to understand their struggles. My personal heart change helps me
understand their pain. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Parents have to feel good enough about
themselves to be emotionally available for their children. Their window of
tolerance needs to be able to handle any emotion that their children bring to
them. Parents need to be a secure attachment figure for their child. God calls
us to be in a state of love for our children.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
***</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ken<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Thom,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>MS, LPC is a nationally recognized Christian counselor and
writer. He is available for parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post
Institute Certified Family Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great
Behavior Breakdown Instructor as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's
book<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/shop/"><b>Christian Parent Wisdom</b></a><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>is a daily scripture based medication book for parenting
children with challenging behaviors.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/contact-ken/">Contact Ken.</a><o:p></o:p></div>
Ken Thomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17412066110187547938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5082057068357393386.post-73586607039166292672015-02-22T17:30:00.000-06:002015-02-22T17:30:01.051-06:00Celebrate Love, Eliminate Fear<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgS3WSvSOwA8ixP5q0Q_JWHk1QdFiOwd4-JnLGBLjG849JuJZeAHjBZdooqovDJxDiEYlYl8R0Rfn2t9mnkFlQ5KYTdMiIMAO0HhVOq9eVhtqCYE-QHzgj9YmSd9lYLFw2GjSrla69_sTU/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-1390217.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgS3WSvSOwA8ixP5q0Q_JWHk1QdFiOwd4-JnLGBLjG849JuJZeAHjBZdooqovDJxDiEYlYl8R0Rfn2t9mnkFlQ5KYTdMiIMAO0HhVOq9eVhtqCYE-QHzgj9YmSd9lYLFw2GjSrla69_sTU/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-1390217.jpg" height="211" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There are times that we all experience emotional and physical pain. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These experiences can last a moment or they can linger. Pay attention
to your body when it tells you something is wrong. Take a stand against fear in
these situations. Do not let fear generate more emotional pain. Fear creates
more tension and therefore increases our physical pain. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Honor the pain and turn to God for healing. Breathe in, and you will
feel relaxed and refreshed. Focus on each part of your body to allow the
tension to evaporate. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You need to completely trust in God’s healing power of love. Celebrate
feeling alive and free of pain.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We all need to attempt to express love in everything we do.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Love drives out fear. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It can be a kind or considerate gesture. It can be a supportive or
thoughtful word. Love can be demonstrated in prayer. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Allow your Christ nature to express itself at all times through your
behavior, especially when parenting. You should expect nothing in return,
knowing that expressing love is a reward in itself. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Every moment of every day should be a celebration of love. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love
for one another.” John13:35<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ken<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Thom,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>MS, LPC is a nationally recognized Christian counselor and
writer. He is available for parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post
Institute Certified Family Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great
Behavior Breakdown Instructor as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's
book<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/shop/"><b>Christian Parent Wisdom</b></a><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>is a daily scripture based medication book for parenting
children with challenging behaviors.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/contact-ken/">Contact Ken.</a><o:p></o:p></div>
Ken Thomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17412066110187547938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5082057068357393386.post-50112894320343373202015-02-15T17:30:00.000-06:002015-02-15T17:30:00.949-06:00Let Prayer Replace Fear With Joy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilnOp2Sf7YWl2rW92DV28fIEWD30AdrdLYMQ4Xgehga-xLJV3ZkkXCu_XeO-FJIf0It0mUgAMc-pbLefs1hyWP8xjku1Qh-DVkocHqs5QcG6jbzjcX7vKxEaPsfxmmMzuTeXStt5Mu4nQ/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-1195767.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilnOp2Sf7YWl2rW92DV28fIEWD30AdrdLYMQ4Xgehga-xLJV3ZkkXCu_XeO-FJIf0It0mUgAMc-pbLefs1hyWP8xjku1Qh-DVkocHqs5QcG6jbzjcX7vKxEaPsfxmmMzuTeXStt5Mu4nQ/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-1195767.jpg" height="200" width="150" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Situations in life can be troubling and can cause distractions. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our imagination gets wound up. We find ourselves losing focus. Doubt
and fear creep into our mind. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When this happens, we need to take time to pray. Breathe in God’s
life-giving peace and feel yourself begin to relax. Redirect your focus to
God’s protection. Affirm that God is your protector. Affirm that he is present.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These affirmations and words will calm your anxious thoughts. You will
begin to feel at peace because of God’s protection.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The challenges we face can wear us down. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We can become tired spiritually, emotionally, physically, and mentally.
Our gratitude and joy are replaced by fear and anxiousness. Life becomes
burdensome and heavy. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When this happens we need to look to God to replace our joy, which is
our strength. Put a song of praise on your lips and in your heart. Pray and ask
God for help. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These simple acts of worship and praise will begin to inspire you. Your
challenges become lighter. Joy replaces fear. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.” Psalm46:1<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ken<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Thom,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>MS, LPC is a nationally recognized Christian counselor and
writer. He is available for parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post
Institute Certified Family Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great
Behavior Breakdown Instructor as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's
book<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/shop/"><b>Christian Parent Wisdom</b></a><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>is a daily scripture based medication book for parenting
children with challenging behaviors.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/contact-ken/">Contact Ken.</a><o:p></o:p></div>
Ken Thomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17412066110187547938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5082057068357393386.post-39254711340297985082015-02-08T17:30:00.000-06:002015-02-08T17:30:01.792-06:00Let God Take Away Fear<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgveedK3ArYJvtiQ9XoZECOfT7WkOwEv7TVQdMJ5eeWApcpML06IbgXp7G0ZpAXjZXFa5VZqXkz-p7q0fAZgBzQ1YkPZMx29O2FtN2GC1uUbOkNOnvzXKQZ1RAfJUXNMDytFUjFUYC-oLs/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-1188945.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgveedK3ArYJvtiQ9XoZECOfT7WkOwEv7TVQdMJ5eeWApcpML06IbgXp7G0ZpAXjZXFa5VZqXkz-p7q0fAZgBzQ1YkPZMx29O2FtN2GC1uUbOkNOnvzXKQZ1RAfJUXNMDytFUjFUYC-oLs/s1600/ken+thom+counseling-maryyville-mo-christian+counseling-Sxchg-1188945.jpg" height="212" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our world is constantly changing, and there are times that the changes
are overwhelming and confusing. We can easily lose connection with the ones we
love. This creates fear in ourselves and our relationships. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We can even begin to doubt God. This doubt comes from fear. When we
encounter this fear, we need to breathe deeply to calm ourselves. We need to
focus on God and his love. Allow the Holy Spirit to transcend every
circumstance in our life. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As we connect with the love of God, we reconnect with loved ones. Fear
and doubt go away. Our faith is strengthened, and we can face the world with
confidence. We are empowered to fall all challenges, trusting the outcome to
God.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Every day we experience new situations and challenges. Often these
situations and challenges are stressful, and create fear. Our past blueprint of
fear can cause us to expect an unpleasant outcome. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We need to consciously choose to let go of any fear-based blueprints.
We need to breathe deeply, and ask God to take away what we fear. Ask God to
replace fear and dread with expecting good. We know that even in difficult
circumstances, God’s guidance will not fail. Our strength and energy during
these times will come from God. We need to expect good in our life because that
is what God wants for us.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to
you, “Do not fear, I will help you.” Isaiah 41:13<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ken<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Thom,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>MS, LPC is a nationally recognized Christian counselor and
writer. He is available for parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post
Institute Certified Family Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great
Behavior Breakdown Instructor as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's
book<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/shop/"><b>Christian Parent Wisdom</b></a><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>is a daily scripture based medication book for parenting
children with challenging behaviors.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://kenthomcounseling.com/contact-ken/">Contact Ken.</a><o:p></o:p></div>
Ken Thomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17412066110187547938noreply@blogger.com0