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Saturday, June 9, 2012

Being a Father - Tip #3

The three phase intervention.

Use the three phase intervention to help connect with your child. The three phase intervention consists of reflect, relate, and regulate. Reflect: How am I feeling right now? It is not OK for a parent to say to a child ‘Tell me how you feel” unless the parent has examined his or her own feelings. When you connect to yourself, you can communicate in a secure way. Relate: While you’re breathing say “I feel ________ right now, and I need to know how you feel”. Your child may not know so give him or her words for what you sense they are feeling. “You look (angry/sad/scare). Are you feeling ___________?” Then say “tell me more, I want to hear about it”. “Tell me louder”. Regulate: Remain regulated and accept all the feelings your child can give you. Your calm, regulated state will help your child become regulated and move into relationship with you.

Want to learn more? Get "The Great Behavior Breakdown" by Bryan Post

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Being a Father - Tip #2

Look for healing opportunities.

Challenges bring with them great opportunities for healing and re-connection. Interrupt your child’s stress cycles. Breathe in and get past your own fear. Become emotionally safe for your child. Respond in love and you will send positive energy to the places that need healing. Emotional regulation through love promotes healing. Help your child become refreshed at the cellular level. Your part in the healing process is to create a safe environment. Your part in the healing process is to bring love, grace, and forgiveness into our children’s life. Your part is to allow love, grace, and forgiveness to flow through our lives. When you do this, you help create an environment conducive to healing for your child. You are not responsible for healing but you are responsible to others to help them on their journey to heal. Simple? Yes. Complex and hard to do? Yes. Perfect love and forgiveness comes only from Jesus through our relationship with him. Therefore you must work to get yourself into that place of love and forgiveness.

"It will be a healing for your flesh and refreshment for your body." Proverbs 3:8

Find out more, read “Healing Journey” @ Ken Thom Articles