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Sunday, May 3, 2015

Influence’s Influence On Parenting

Mother's Day is just around the corner. This is a time of family gatherings to celebrate mothers. Family traditions of cookouts, picnics and dining out are fairly common. It goes without saying: Mothers play a very important role in our lives. Many articles and books have been written about this. There is a tremendous amount of research about being a mother. It has been dissected from every angle and from numerous counseling theories.

Attachment theory says that Infants form attachments to any consistent caregiver who is sensitive and responsive in social interactions with them. The quality of the social engagement is more influential than the amount of time spent.

One of the most important, if not the most important concept to keep in mind is that parenting is all about influence. It is easy to cross that thin boundary into control. Remember, control is a function of fear. Influence is a function of love. Each and every interaction with your child influences what they will do in the future: their relationships, their career decisions, and their spiritual focus. Ask yourself this question, “What am I doing right now to improve my relationship with my child?” Another question to ask your self is - “What am I doing to connect with my child in a mindful manner?”

Both of those are simple questions or concepts. That doesn’t necessarily mean that the answer or response will be easy. There are many challenges in simple concepts. After all, did you really know what you were signing up for when you decided to be a parent? I don’t think any of us had a clue. I know from my personal experience that teaching and writing about these concepts is much easier than implementing them.


Ken Thom, MS, LPC is a nationally recognized Christian counselor and writer. He is available for parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post Institute Certified Family Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great Behavior Breakdown Instructor as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's book Christian Parent Wisdom is a daily scripture based medication book for parenting children with challenging behaviors. Contact Ken.