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Saturday, March 3, 2012

What Exactly is Shame?

I usually start out by asking a person to define guilt and then define shame. Write down your definition of guilt. Now, write down your definition of shame. Do this as a learning exercise. The answers I get are varied. They usually have a similar theme. Guilt is usually defined correctly. However, many of the characteristics of shame are included in definitions of guilt. Shame is rarely defined correctly. I don’t have empirical data to support that statement. However, that is my experience over the last 25 years of working with families. The definition of shame usually includes a blending of the two definitions. Sometimes when defining these terms people get confused. Many honestly say they just don’t know the difference. Without out knowing what shame is, it is impossible to deal with shame. Most of the time, people are trying to resolve guilt when in reality they are experiencing shame.

Learn more by reading October 2011 Love in Action Newsletter @ Newsletter Archives

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Fear Buster #9 - Harmony

Stress followed by fear can enter into my life or the life of my loved ones unexpectedly. I turn these challenges into opportunities to bring harmony, peace, and emotional regulation into my environment. I take three deep breaths and connect with God’s calming spirit. I can then bring encouragement and support into any challenge. I am able to offer compassion, understanding, and reassurance. As harmony becomes present, I am able to see the good in others and in their situation. God enables us to connect together in one spirit.

How very good and pleasant it is when kindred live together in unity. - Psalm 133:1

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