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Saturday, June 23, 2012

Being a Father - Tip #7

Be present and mindful.

Challenges make it difficult to be present and mindful with your child. Fear causes us to regret the past and obsess about the future. Ever done that? All of us do. As human beings we live our lives largely in memory and imagination. We are either remembering the past or imagining the future. Physically our bodies are present, but our minds are elsewhere. Take a few deep breathes and focus. Try to be fully present in the moment. Try to be fully mindful. This can be very difficult to do. It has to take place a micro second at a time. That is why the skill of emotional regulation and clearing your mind is so important to develop. Dan Siegel explains the neuro-psychology aspect @ This is an important concept to understand. It is just as important to understand the spiritual aspect of the process of connecting in relationship. When two or more are gathered a spirit is created. This is found in Matthew 18:20. “For where two or three are gathered in My name, there I am with them.” I don’t fully understand it. This is a mysterious thing that we probably don’t fully understand. However, the phenomenon of a spirit created by people who are present is a powerful thing.

Read more about the spiritual aspect of being present by reading “The Power of Presence - Being Mindful” @ Ken Thom’s Articles.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Being a Father - Tip #6

Increase quality time with your child.

I recommend that you start to make special opportunities to be with your child by learning the 10-20-10 strategy on a regular basis. Here’s a formula to follow. You spend 10 minutes in the morning, 20 minutes in the afternoon, and 10 minutes in the evening with your child. These are special opportunities to be with your child. These opportunities are to just listen without judging, blaming, or shaming. Validate whatever your child is saying and feeling. Validation does not mean you agree with their opinion. Validation means that you are listening to your child. By doing this families can begin to repair their broken relationship. Repairing your relationship with your child helps you influence your child to start making more responsible decisions and demonstrating respect.

Incorporate daily scripture based meditations during your 10-20-10 time.

Get “Christian Parent Wisdom” @ Ken Thom Products