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Saturday, April 7, 2012

Affirmations Help Heal Shame

Affirmations - positive self talk - are a useful self motivation tool. Identify the negative shame messages that are conditioned responses to situations in your life. Replace them with uplifting, positive messages to yourself. There may also be certain people, places, and events that you need to stay away. Part of your self care is not exposing yourself to shame producing stimuli. Obviously you may not be able to avoid everything that produces shame in your life. However, there are many situations that you can just stay away from. For those situations that you can’t avoid, use your new self awareness and be mindful of your situation. When someone or some event gives you a ticket for a ride on the shame bus, you now have the choice to not take the ticket. If you unexpectedly take the ticket, you don’t have to get on the bus. If for some reason you get on the bus, you can get off any time you want.

Find daily affirming meditations - Christian Parent Wisdom @

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Healing Shame by Following Through

Most shame-based people I have talked to know what they need to do different. The problem is that they do not follow through with a decision that has a potential positive outcome. There are two components of not following through. A shame-based person’s internal definition is not congruent with success. That incongruence keeps a person from following through. There is too much unconscious resistance to taking that first positive step. The second component is a spiritual battle. The Apostle Paul says in Romans 7:15 (NIV) - “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do but what I hate I do.” As Christians we also know that “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full”. - John 10:10 (NIV). Pray about all your decisions and ask others to pray for you. “I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me.” - Philippians 4:13 (NIV). Identify a task that you believe you can realistically achieve.

Find out more about healing shame, read December 2012 Love in Action Newsletter