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Saturday, March 17, 2012

Releasing the Bondage of Shame

A paradigm shift is necessary to begin releasing the bondage of shame. The first step in shifting your paradigm begins when you are able to see the world as benevolent and yourself as worthy. A shame-based person does not see their world is being benevolent because of their experiences that have taught them shame in their life. This may seem to be an overwhelming task considering the condition of our world today. If you don’t see the world as benevolent, then everyone is your enemy. This makes it very hard to get anything good out of this world. This is keeps you in a state of hypervigilence and fear. Secondly, shame-based people need to start taking risks. When taking risks, you may lose something of value. What shame-based people fear losing the most is the little bit of self-esteem they already have. This part of the paradigm shift consists of separating yourself (who you are) from your experience. For example, a failing grade does not mean you are a failure. An offer not being accepted is not a rejection of you as a person. It is simply a rejection of your offer. Shame-based people get their self-worth from performance. Separating yourself worth from your performance can be a difficult task. The third step in this paradigm shift is distinguishing between risks that have potential positive outcomes and those risks that are a setup for failure. Initially you need to begin by not repeating previous failures. Identify patterns of failure.

Learn more by reading December 2011 Love in Action Newsletter @ Newsletter Archives

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