Relationships determine the quality of our life. Bruce Perry, MD, (Trauma, Brain, & Relationships - Helping Children Heal) states: “Everything that is important about life as a human being, you learn in context of relationships.” That’s a very powerful statement. Think about it. When person complains or have a problem it usually has to do with another person. Even if it’s a job issue, personalities are usually involved. We may want not want to admit, but we are in a relationship with our job or our career. There are numerous reasons why shame-based people fail at relationships. There are chapters in books devoted to this topic. I’ll provide an overview of how shame causes failure in relationships. Shame-based people fear intimacy. They are afraid of being hurt again because that is the blueprint of their previous relationships. You need to heal from past hurts is necessary in order to be intimate again. Otherwise, getting close to another person triggers past hurt. Not seeing yourself worthy of being loved is a setup for failure. Some shame-based people will turn into caretakers to “fix” their self-worth.
Learn more by reading January 2012 Love in Action Newsletter @ Newsletter Archives
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