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Saturday, September 10, 2011

What Does Anger Have to do with Forgiveness?

Forgiveness is an event, not a process. In this process, anger is the starting point. If you don’t believe you’re angry, then how do you identify your anger? I suggest that people pay attention to their bodies. Anger symptoms can be experienced physically. Headaches, sweaty palms, dizziness, getting red-faced, stomachaches and grading your teeth are a few physical symptoms. Emotionally you may feel like running away, feel guilty and resentful, lash out, become anxious, or get depressed. Anger may be expressed through your behavior. Substance-abuse, sarcasm, withdrawal, yelling or screaming, and any form of physical or verbal abuse may be signs of anger. Resentments are part of our anger. We carry resentments around with us for a number of reasons. Living with universal criticism, always being put down, and never being good enough fuel resentments. Being discounted and not having our feelings validated are another source of a resentments. Other sources of resentments are: sibling comparisons, comparison to another relative, any kind of abusive touch, being expected to know how to do things without being taught, not being allowed to make mistakes, and body shame. If you are still struggling with this, I recommend taking additional help. There are many tools and books to help you with this. It is imperative to own and understand your anger and resentments. This is your truth. Otherwise, it will be very difficult to initiate a healthy forgiveness process. Remember this is a process. Become honest with yourself as you can. This may be a painful process. Read complete article on forgiveness at

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