One of the symptoms of living our lives from a place of fear is feeling a constant sense of disconnect with others. As the poet says, “No man [or woman] is an island,” and this is true. While independence and self-sufficiency are admirable traits, we need to love others and be loved in return.
1 Timothy 1:5 says, “The purpose of my instruction is that all believers would be filled with love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and genuine faith.”
We begin with love, which comes from a pure heart. The challenge is for each of us is to search our hearts. We then need to clear out whatever blocks love. The most obvious of these blocks are usually anger and resentments. Forgiveness is always the key to this. Luke 6:37: “…Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”
This is where some of our most base fears and beliefs about ourselves reside. These cause us to experience feelings of abandonment, grief, anger, and/or guilt. It’s at our cellular level and unconscious.
We may know these feelings are there. We may be aware of what’s causing them at a deeper level. If you do know, you’ve made progress. Be mindful of your emotions. Know what triggers them. You can then begin to conquer the fear.
If you don’t know what feelings are blocking love in your heart, I can help you. Together, we can work toward discovering what the issues are and what causes them. We can overcome old patterns and learn how not to ignore when painful feelings are triggered, but also how not to give in to them.
I believe it is important to have God involved in the healing process. That is why I pray daily, Psalm 51:10, “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”
God revealed to me what I needed to know at a deeper level. He guided me and provided the support I needed from others and the Holy Spirit to heal. He is there for you, too, to help your “steadfast spirit” return to emotional regulation and freedom from fear.
Ken Thom, MS, LPC is a nationally recognized Christian counselor and writer. He is available for parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post Institute Certified Family Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great Behavior Breakdown Instructor as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's book Christian Parent Wisdom is a daily scripture based medication book for parenting children with challenging behaviors. Contact Ken.