Loving Behaviors And Loving Words Are Stress Busters

Loving behaviors put into action a very powerful force. That force is God’s love that is in us. We have the ability to release this love when we stay connected to God. Love connects us to others and we then help them release the love of God that is within them.

This allows us to appreciate and respect our family members and friends. We demonstrate forgiveness and grace. We see the good in ourselves and the good in others.

The more love I give, the more my love grows because it is fueled by those around me. Conflict is replaced by a spirit of cooperation.

Ephesians 4:29 “Let no evil talk come out of your mouths…”

What a powerful statement. Through your words, you have the power to change situations. You can choose to provoke anger, discouragement, resentment, and shame.

Breathe, relax, and think before you speak. Allow yourself time to regulate and connect with the love of God so you can chose your words wisely. Chose words of grace, peace, appreciation, and encouragement. If you take time to reflect and become regulated, you allow the Holy Spirit to work in you and the person you may be having a conflict with.

Given time, the person who has upset you will have time to regulate. They will be open to connecting with the love you offer through your words.

Give more love this Christmas season and experience more love in your life. Love is always available. Take a few deep breathes and step into the love that is available. Need help in getting regulated and connecting with God?

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Ken Thom, MS, LPC is a nationally recognized Christian counselor and writer. He is available for parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post Institute Certified Family Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great Behavior Breakdown Instructor as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's book Christian Parent Wisdom is a daily scripture based medication book for parenting children with challenging behaviors. Contact Ken.

All We Have Comes From God

Philippians 4:19 says “And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” In the previous blog I discussed God is our supply of hope; he is dependable and gave us Jesus.

Furthermore, God gives to us not out of, but according to his riches in glory. This means that we don’t get the leftovers. We sit down and experience the entire banquet. God is on always on time. God always does it the right way. His works are designed specifically for each one of us.

During our journey we experience many wounds, failures, and scars. These are also taken care of through forgiveness and God’s healing power. John 10:10 says “…I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

Don’t miss out this Christmas season. Freely accept what God has freely given. If you’re traveling alone along your journey, you’ll miss it. Connect with God and be blessed.

           

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Ken Thom, MS, LPC is a nationally recognized Christian counselor and writer. He is available for parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post Institute Certified Family Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great Behavior Breakdown Instructor as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's book Christian Parent Wisdom is a daily scripture based medication book for parenting children with challenging behaviors. Contact Ken.

The Gift Of Hope That Dwells Within Us

Many parents who come to me for help are at their wits’ end. They have exhausted all of their resources. Nothing they have tried works consistently for any length of time. These parents feel like they’re on a treadmill that takes them through crisis after crisis and things don’t get better.

This is a common story from parents who have adopted or take in foster children.

Parents of children with challenging behaviors don’t need judgments or criticism. They are exhausted mentally, emotionally, and physically. They need answers, support, and hope.

Using the Post Stress Model and my own experience as a Christian family counselor, I can help guide parents to those answers, support, and hope they are seeking.

Even when using these strategies, parenting children with challenging behaviors can be exhausting. This is when we need to use our spiritual resources. Philippians 4:19 says “And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.”

God is the source of our hope. He gave us Jesus which is a gift that dwells in us. We do not have to depend on our own abilities or strength. All our needs are met through God’s endless supply. We can always depend on God. God pursued us. God is loyal and faithful even when we are not and don’t deserve it. The gift of Jesus gives us hope as our savior. We then look forward to the promise of mercy and grace that came from the resurrection and empty tomb. Be grateful this season for the gift of Jesus, who is the source of hope within us.

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Ken Thom, MS, LPC is a nationally recognized Christian counselor and writer. He is available for parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post Institute Certified Family Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great Behavior Breakdown Instructor as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's book Christian Parent Wisdom is a daily scripture based medication book for parenting children with challenging behaviors. Contact Ken.

Building Faith

The Bible gives us so many stories about on waiting on the Lord, on having faith, and living with grace. God supplies us with the scriptures that we need for any of our life experiences, we just need to turn to Him.

Waiting on the Lord: Isaiah encourages those who wait on the Lord. Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength. Isaiah 40:31; 8:17; 25:9. Another one of Isaiah’s encouragements comes in conjunction with God’s promise to give power to the weak. Isaiah 40:29; 40:31.

Faith: By faith, Moses called God’s people to apply the blood of the Passover lamb that they might be delivered from the judgment that was to befall Egypt. Hebrews 11:28 - “by faith he kept the Passover and the sprinkling of blood, lest he who destroyed the firstborn should touch them”. Then, Moses led the people out of Egypt, eventually passing through the Red Sea, by faith.

Grace: Romans 5:17 - “For if, by the trespass of the one man, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God’s abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ.” That’s a mouth full. My little theological mind tells me that God’s grace gives us what we need each day to do what God would have us to do. I have the power to do anything in God’s will. I like the simple version from, Phillipians 4:13 - “I can do anything through Christ who strengthens me.”

As you build the faith within yourself, you will become more aware of how God orchestrates all the details in your life. The process of A to Z has 24 letters in between. We need to keep our eyes on the goal Z, i.e., Heaven. However, we need to be mindful of the letters in between A and Z.

These letters represent us building relationships on our journey. If we miss the letters in between, then we miss out on the blessings. We all do our part in each other’s lives. We are responsible for sowing seeds. We are not responsible for the harvest. Remember, relationship is the key. Keep your oxytocin flowing, connect in relationship, sow seeds of love, and watch God work.

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Ken Thom, MS, LPC is a nationally recognized Christian counselor and writer. He is available for parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post Institute Certified Family Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great Behavior Breakdown Instructor as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's book Christian Parent Wisdom is a daily scripture based medication book for parenting children with challenging behaviors. Contact Ken.

All That Happens Is Part Of God’s Plan

“How does God want me to use this experience?”

A few years ago, I had just finished Thanksgiving dinner at my mom’s house. The kids were playing and wrestling around. The adults were positioned in the usual Thanksgiving after-dinner stupor. Sound familiar? I hope and pray that you and your family are blessed as you gather together this year.

When you are this comfortable, it’s hard to remember those times when the lack of faith questions nag at us: “Why this?” or “What now?” or “How?”

When those questions start sounding in your head, the faith-based question that you need to be asking more is, “How does God want me to use this experience?” I reference Roman 8:28, a scripture that I use as one of my spiritual “rocks” when I’m challenged: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Most of the setbacks we encounter are followed by a blessing. Whatever you want to call them, challenges, stumbling blocks, problems, or issues, happen to us for a reason. God may not allow us to see the reason right away, or ever for that matter, but trust in Him that everything that happens to us is part of His plan. When these happen in your life, ask yourself, “How does God want me to use this experience?”

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Ken Thom, MS, LPC is a nationally recognized Christian counselor and writer. He is available for parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post Institute Certified Family Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great Behavior Breakdown Instructor as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's book Christian Parent Wisdom is a daily scripture based medication book for parenting children with challenging behaviors. Contact Ken.

Fear Holds Us Back

Throughout our life’s journey, we will learn how fear enters into everything we do, even the things that are good and positive in our lives.

Bruce Perry says that the amygdala codes all new experiences as fear until deemed otherwise. In every walk of life, from school to work to parenting, there are many situations that it takes our system time to deem as “otherwise.”

It’s normal to experience fear in new situations. The challenge is to not live there.

That is hard when you are experiencing situation after situation that triggers fear. Fear challenges our faith. I find myself constantly having to re-affirm my faith and speak faith words into my life.

The fear we experience doesn’t have to be the paralyzing fear we experience from trauma and abuse. Fear can be experienced like a little cloud that is always following us around. It puts a shadow on everything we do. It brings constant doubt to all situations. It makes us question our abilities in everything we attempt. Familiar tasks seem bigger than they are. Everything is more complicated.

Fear shrinks our window of tolerance, our patience levels. Most of all, it is responsible for stealing our joy. Satan takes advantage of any cracks in your faith. He is relentless. John 10:10 – ‘The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy”.

Realize the hold that fear can have on your life. God will love and protect us as we face it head on.

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Ken Thom, MS, LPC is a nationally recognized Christian counselor and writer. He is available for parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post Institute Certified Family Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great Behavior Breakdown Instructor as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's book Christian Parent Wisdom is a daily scripture based medication book for parenting children with challenging behaviors. Contact Ken.

Look To Our Heavenly Father For Help

When we are dealing with a broken heart or broken spirit, sometimes our friends, in their humanness, fail us. Our pain is too great for them, but it isn't too great for God. He sees our hurt and He cares and meets us where we are. (Psalm 51:17) God heals problems. (Psalm147:3)

Jesus publically proclaimed in His ministry the following from Isaiah 61:1-2 (NIV): “The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn.”

God provides for us a safe place, a place where the fear of healing will not drive us away. We can receive healing. Psalm 57:1 (NIV): “Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me, for in you my soul takes refuge. I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed.” He restores my soul. (Psalm 23) God mends broken hearts. God mends broken dreams.

God provides us with counsel for the journey. John 14:1-3 (NIV): "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.”

I purposely included a lot of scriptures for your reference. Choose these or others that speak to your heart. Use them to stand on when the journey gets overwhelming. I encourage you to read the entire fifth chapter of Mark. It is very encouraging and will strengthen your faith.

I believe that a significant part of our healing comes from telling our story. Everywhere Jesus went he told a story. His stories were usually parables. He also spoke the word of God. Each scar you have has a story. That story can help others heal. Be brave and tell your story to someone: a pastor, a therapist, or a counselor. Let a professional support and encourage you as you work to mend your broken heart.

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Ken Thom, MS, LPC is a nationally recognized Christian counselor and writer. He is available for parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post Institute Certified Family Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great Behavior Breakdown Instructor as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's book Christian Parent Wisdom is a daily scripture based medication book for parenting children with challenging behaviors. Contact Ken.