Mother's Day is just around the corner. This is a time of
family gatherings to celebrate mothers. Family traditions of cookouts, picnics
and dining out are fairly common. It goes without saying: Mothers play a very
important role in our lives. Many articles and books have been written about
this. There is a tremendous amount of research about being a mother. It has
been dissected from every angle and from numerous counseling theories.
Attachment theory says that Infants form attachments to any consistent caregiver who is sensitive and
responsive in social interactions with them. The quality of the social
engagement is more influential than the amount of time spent.
One of the most
important, if not the most important concept to keep in mind is that parenting
is all about influence. It is easy to cross that thin boundary into control.
Remember, control is a function of fear. Influence is a function of love. Each
and every interaction with your child influences what they will do in the
future: their relationships, their career decisions, and their spiritual focus.
Ask yourself this question, “What am I doing right now to improve my
relationship with my child?” Another question to ask your self is - “What am I
doing to connect with my child in a mindful manner?”
Both of those are
simple questions or concepts. That doesn’t necessarily mean that the answer or
response will be easy. There are many challenges in simple concepts. After all,
did you really know what you were signing up for when you decided to be a
parent? I don’t think any of us had a clue. I know from my personal experience
that teaching and writing about these concepts is much easier than implementing
them.
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Ken Thom, MS, LPC is a nationally recognized Christian counselor and
writer. He is available for parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post
Institute Certified Family Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great
Behavior Breakdown Instructor as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's
book Christian Parent Wisdom is a daily scripture based medication book for parenting
children with challenging behaviors. Contact Ken.
