When we speak
about mothers modeling healthy relationships for their children, let’s not
forget the oxytocin factor.
Mothers are
usually better equipped neurologically to express and process feelings. Mothers
tend to be better at helping a child develop a strong oxytocin response. All
children need this.
Boys and girls
both need this to balance their testosterone levels that begin to rise in
puberty. If mothers don’t help their daughters with this, the daughters will
seek out that regulation from males. Boys need regulation from their mothers to
help reduce and manage their aggressive tendencies; otherwise connection with
other aggressive males will escalate their aggressive tendencies.
Oxytocin helps
maintain emotional regulation. Emotional regulation allows us to connect in
relationship with others. Emotional regulation keeps us out of a state of fear.
Fear causes irrational and distorted thinking and short-term memory loss.
Equipping your child to have a strong oxytocin response as well as learning how
to stimulate their own oxytocin is an invaluable gift to give to your child. It
is most definitely the gift that keeps on giving.
Most importantly,
be a Godly role model. Treat your child with mercy and grace in all situations.
Just like your Heavenly Father treats you. Demonstrate forgiveness. Train up
your child in the ways of the Lord, Proverbs
22:6. Pray with them, not just for them. Actively engage them in praise and
worship for God. Make God the center of your relationship with them. Make God
the center of all family relationships. Read my article “Godly Families”.
Check out my website for products and services that will
help you along your journey. Remember to parent in love because love never
fails.
***
Ken Thom, MS, LPC is a nationally recognized Christian counselor and
writer. He is available for parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post
Institute Certified Family Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great
Behavior Breakdown Instructor as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's
book Christian Parent Wisdom is a daily scripture based medication book for parenting
children with challenging behaviors. Contact Ken.
