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| Photo credit: Benjamin Earwicker |
Becoming better parents is a
process. It is an interactive mechanism between husband and wife. It also needs
to be an interactive mechanism between parent and child. This is how we connect
to and help our children.
According to Alan Shore, the
attachment relationship is an interactive mechanism for generating very high
levels of ‘positive affect’. Secular research says that this positive affect is
joy. Hmm.
Nehemiah 8:10: “…for this day is
holy to our Lord. Do not be grieved, for the joy of the LORD is your
strength." There’s another clear picture. Joy is part of the mechanism. We
can connect with God to receive His joy.
Without “co-regulation” (the
ability to find a balanced state emotionally) between husband and wife,
children are at risk. Dys-regulated parents are out of relationship with each
other. They are out of relationship with their children.
Mostly importantly, they are out
of relationship with God.
Only by connecting with each other and with God can parents bring true joy into their homes.
***
Ken Thom, MS, LPC is a nationally recognized Christian counselor and writer.
He is available for parent and individual coaching. Ken is a Post Institute
Certified Family Regulatory Therapist, Certified Coach and Great Behavior
Breakdown Instructor as well as a certified BCI parent trainer. Ken's book Christian Parent Wisdom is a daily scripture based medication
book for parenting children with challenging behaviors. Contact
Ken.
