Ignore the Behavior, Don't Ignore the Child

Behavior is a communication. Behavior may be the only way a child can express their fear and trauma. Shift your paradigm from behavior change based to being love based and emotionally safe based. That will regulate your child and he can then begin to put words to his fears. You will be creating a safe environment for healing. My other articles and newsletters on fear are available to you as a free resource. My book, Christian Parent Wisdom is an excellent resource that combines stress model principles with scriptures in a daily meditation format. Buy Christian Parent Wisdom at http://bit.ly/mVZggY and receive a FREE 30 minute consult with me when you mention that heard about this FREE offer though this Blog on your order.

Interrupt Trauma Reactions with Love

Trauma can be a long-lasting experience. It can affect individuals for their entire life. It sensitizes the neurological system towards stress and fear eventually leading to a conditioned state. This conditioning leads to a stress sensitive and fear-filled child. This chronic state of living in fear makes life very challenging because any stressor can trigger a traumatic reaction. This conditioned state can only be interrupted with love. My other articles and newsletters on fear are available to you as a free resource. My book, Christian Parent Wisdom is an excellent resource that combines stress model principles with scriptures in a daily meditation format. Buy Christian Parent Wisdom at http://bit.ly/mVZggY and receive a FREE 30 minute consult with me when you mention that heard about this FREE offer though this Blog on your order.

Parents Look Within to Trigger Oxytocin

It is critical for parents to be able to see the fear and stress within themselves. When parents can be a witness to their own stress, they have a greater ability to calm themselves. If fear or stress is present, they can take a few deep breaths become regulated. This turns on their oxytocin response. As the parent becomes calm they are able to handle their child’s fear and stress and then assist the child in triggering their oxytocin response. My other articles and newsletters on fear are available to you as a free resource. My book, Christian Parent Wisdom is an excellent resource that combines stress model principles with scriptures in a daily meditation format. Buy Christian Parent Wisdom at http://bit.ly/mVZggY and receive a FREE 30 minute consult with me when you mention that heard about this FREE offer though this Blog on your order.

A Defiant Child is a Scared Child

Believing that anger is our natural reaction to a threat is a common miss-perception. The neurophysiological reaction to a perceived threat is fear. When cave men were confronted by wild animals they did not immediately go into fight or flight mode. First there was a freeze which gave his brain the opportunity to determine flight of flight. Consider this when dealing with a defiant child. Any attempt to force the child into action will quickly move the child from freeze to flight or flee. My other articles and newsletters on fear are available to you as a free resource. My book, Christian Parent Wisdom is an excellent resource that combines stress model principles with scriptures in a daily meditation format. Buy Christian Parent Wisdom at http://bit.ly/mVZggY and receive a FREE 30 minute consult with me when you mention that heard about this FREE offer though this Blog on your order.

State Level Reactions

Children with severe behaviors do not consciously choose to act out that behavior. These behaviors are driven from a highly unconscious place - their state level trauma memories. My other articles and newsletters on fear are available to you as a free resource. My book, Christian Parent Wisdom is an excellent resource that combines stress model principles with scriptures in a daily meditation format. Buy Christian Parent Wisdom at http://bit.ly/mVZggY and receive a FREE 30 minute consult with me when you mention that heard about this FREE offer though this Blog on your order.

Stress Model

All behaviors arise from a state of stress. In between the behavior and the stress is the presence of a primary emotion. It is through the expression, processing, and the understanding of that emotion that we can calm the stress and diminish the behavior. Bryan Post - Great Behavior Breakdown. My other articles and newsletters on fear are available to you as a free resource. My book, Christian Parent Wisdom is an excellent resource that combines stress model principles with scriptures in a daily meditation format. Buy Christian Parent Wisdom at http://bit.ly/mVZggY and receive a FREE 30 minute consult with me when you mention that heard about this FREE offer though this Blog on your order.

School Success Tip #'s 9 & 10: Reduce, 10/20/10, and the Three R's*

Reduce - You may need to make your child=s school world smaller. This could include breaks during recess to help reduce over stimulation, working with a study buddy, smaller assignments, having special time with a teacher or other staff. 10/20/10 and the Three R=s are very simple, powerful techniques. They will help you connect in relationship with your child and increase your child=s secure attachment. You can read about these powerful techniques by going to http://bit.ly/nNyPn6 and down loading my March 2012 Love in Action Newsletter - Parenting Tips. *Adapted from 10 Important Back-to-School Tips for Parents and Teachers - Heather T. Forbes, LCSW If you find yourself needing additional support and encouragement to advocate for your child, contact me for a FREE 30 minute phone consult when you subscribe to my weekly Christian Parent Wisdom http://bit.ly/nmOEXw and mention that you heard about this FREE offer though this blog on your subscription order. I offer more school strategies and resources in my July 2012 Love in Action Newsletter - Back to School Resources at http://bit.ly/nNyPn6