Back to School Tip #6: Responding Rather than Reacting*

Here's a couple of basic stress model principles to remember when you find yourself reacting rather than responding to your child. Remember that you are reacting from your unconscious. You are coming from a place of fear rather than love. This is fairly simple to overcome. First of all, slow down and think. Allow you to take several deep breaths and relax. You can then connect with your child and help him regulate. Even after you react, you can stop and create the space to respond. Continue to do your own work around your emotional trauma so when it gets triggered you can respond rather than react. *Adapted from 10 Important Back-to-School Tips for Parents and Teachers - Heather T. Forbes, LCSW If you find yourself needing additional support and encouragement to advocate for your child, contact me for a FREE 30 minute phone consult when you subscribe to my weekly Christian Parent Wisdom http://bit.ly/nmOEXw and mention that you heard about this FREE offer though this blog on your subscription order. I offer more school strategies and resources in my July 2012 Love in Action Newsletter - Back to School Resources at http://bit.ly/nNyPn6

Summer Challenge - Sibling Rivalry

When siblings spend more time together there is usually an increase in sibling rivalry. This rivalry is their way of telling you they need more connection with you. It’s not about jealousy or envy. Let chicken represent available love. When there’s more mouths to feed at once, fear of starvation (emotional) sets in and each child feels afraid there won’t be enough chicken for them. Siblings then become a threat to each other. Take a deep breath and allow the Holy Spirit to help you cook up a little more chicken for the kids. Christian Parent Wisdom #28 - Abundant Life I celebrate life today with my child. We are refreshed through prayer. We are his creations and have a greater life and abundance through him. I came that they may have more life, and have it abundantly. John 10:10 Purchase Christian Parent Wisdom now @ http://bit.ly/mVZggY and receive 30 minutes of phone coaching or a 30 minute spiritual consult for FREE when you mention you heard about this FREE offer though this blog on your purchase order.

Summer Challenge - Meal Time

Summer challenge - meal time Increased physical and emotional activity causes dys-regulation of the brain’s appetite sensor. Even though your child “should” be hungry after a day’s activities, your child may not sense it or “feel” hungry until they are regulated. Help your child regulate before meals times. Use this as a time of emotional and spiritual connection. Pray with your child. Christian Parent Wisdom #35 - Prayer I model an attitude of gratitude for my child. Together, we give thanks in prayer for all we have and all we experience. Our lives become a prayer walk with God. Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1Thessalonians 5:16–18 Purchase Christian Parent Wisdom now @ http://bit.ly/mVZggY and receive 30 minutes of phone coaching or a 30 minute spiritual consult for FREE when you mention you heard about this FREE offer though this blog on your purchase order.

Summer Challenge - Irresponsibility

Irresponsible behavior is a sign that your child is over whelmed, not lazy. You may need to make your child’s world a little smaller during the summer. Not enough structure leads to dys-regulation. Put order in your child’s life Christian Parent Wisdom #47 - Divine Order In the midst of dys-regulation, I look past any chaotic, present circumstances. I seek spiritual understanding, while God’s divine plan for my family unfolds. Order is then restored in my life and my relationship with my child. From now on, therefore, we regard no one from a human point of view; even though we once knew Christ from the human point of view, we know him no longer in that way. 2 Corinthians 5:16 Purchase Christian Parent Wisdom now @ http://bit.ly/mVZggY and receive 30 minutes of phone coaching or a 30 minute spiritual consult for FREE when you mention you heard about this FREE offer though this blog on your purchase order.

Summer Challenge - Socail Aggression

Remember that aggression is a sign of fear. Social situations can easily become over whelming for children with trauma histories. Look past the aggression and see your child as being afraid and let your heart lead you to connect in love. Christian Parent Wisdom #17 Love God’s love is there to comfort me in all circumstances. I chose to comfort my child in all circumstances. As I connect with my child, we find the peace within our hearts. Let your steadfast love become my comfort according to your promise to your servant. Psalm 119:76 Purchase Christian Parent Wisdom now @ http://bit.ly/mVZggY and receive 30 minutes of phone coaching or a 30 minute spiritual consult for FREE when you mention you heard about this FREE offer though this blog on your purchase order.

Summer Challenge - Melt Downs After a Good Time

Remember that positive stimulation can overwhelm a child who has a small window of tolerance. Don’t punish the melt down, take responsibly for not providing enough emotional safety for your child and use this opportunity to connect and expand your child window of tolerance. Be emotionally safe and steadfast for your child in all circumstances. Christian Parent Wisdom #15 Steadfast When fear and dys-regulation disrupts order and harmony, I affirm all is well. I clear my mind of all concerns. I remain steadfast knowing God is in control. My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast. Psalm 108:1 Purchase Christian Parent Wisdom now @ http://bit.ly/mVZggY and receive 30 minutes of phone coaching or a 30 minute spiritual consult FREE when you mention you heard about this FREE offer though this blog on your purchase order.

Summer Challenge - Boredom

Boredom is not a lack of motivation. Your child is probably hypo-arouse or emotionally shut down. Connect with your child and develop a list of activities he or she is interested in. Be an encourager for your child. Christian Parent Wisdom #14 Encouragement I choose to use words that edify and encourage my child. Encouragement and compassion is an essential ingredient in providing a secure base for my child. Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, as indeed you are doing. Thessalonians 5:11 Purchase Christian Parent Wisdom now @ http://bit.ly/mVZggY and receive 30 minutes of phone coaching or a 30 minute spiritual consult for FREE when you mention you heard about this FREE offer though this blog on your purchase order.